Because learning even the most basic words in a foreign language is hard and people are lazy, this is the Icon Speak t-shirt. It has 40 relatively universal icons on it so you can point to communicate while traveling in foreign speaking countries without having to know the language. It's perfect for the tourist that likes to wear the same shirt six days in a row. Alternatively, buy one and pretend like you don't know your own language so you don't have to talk to anyone. That's what I did. Watch -- tell me if you can tell what I'm saying. "You're just rubbing your nipples and winking at me." And what does that mean? "You're a pervert?" I'm your pervert.
Keep going for two more shots, including a guy asking if the water here is safe to drink (it isn't).
Thanks again to Lucinda, who, for two tips in a row, receives flowers. You just need to be in a relationship and wait until next Valentine's.