The Future Is Now: Microsoft's Holoportation System

March 29, 2016


To help us forget that their AI bot was a complete and disastrous failure, this is a video demonstration of Microsoft Research's holoportation system. The system "allows high quality 3D models of people to be reconstructed, compressed, and transmitted anywhere in the world in real-time." Obviously, the implications for the p0rn industry are staggering.

When combined with mixed reality displays such as HoloLens, this technology allows users to see and interact with remote participants in 3D as if they are actually present in their physical space. Communicating and interacting with remote users becomes as natural as face to face communication.

So basically you can now holograph yourself anywhere in the world. Exciting times! I'm going to insist that from now on for work I only telecommute, and if I'm needed for a meeting I'll just holotransport myself there. Possibly in a bathrobe. Possibly in nothing but a neck tie I Sharpied onto my chest. But probably in a bathrobe. Then I'll continually repeat, "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope," until they hang up on me and I can go back to bed.

Keep going for a video of the future.

Thanks to everybody who sent this, at least one of which expressed an interest in holotransporting himself straight into my living room, which is why I just covered my whole apartment with anti-holoportation paint.

  • Trojanman

    yep that lag, at first I thought he was gonna bend ol'e boy over and well you get the picture... On the other hand this technology isnt new, way to catch up in the world slowly microsoft....

  • palpable ovaltine

    Using an augmented reality headset to see a hologram of someone live at a different location isn't new? Okay.

  • Trojanman

    no it isnt, competitors have had this in beta for a while like 3-4 years back, heard of Meta glasses, also with the many that probably have developed an app like this the technology was release way before Microsofts hololens do some research. I remember talking about this bout 4 years back lol

  • palpable ovaltine

    Except that meta glasses started in 2012. Hololens has been in development since 2010. It was actually first conceived of in 2007 as the original idea for Kinect. Moreover, the hololens is a more impressive device than meta glasses. As I understand it, meta glasses have to be tethered to a computer to function, hololens is a standalone device. It's still a great device, but don't pretend that Microsoft is just copying it, because they aren't.

  • Trojanman and all others "Hololens has been in development since 2010" BS where did you learn this? because some weeaboo made Augment glasses from the kinect back in 2010 along with other people playing with the kinect sensor this isnt microsoft development lol? This technology is by far not new or does it say anything about being in development since 2010 in fact development was set officially in 2015

  • Billy Avenue

    I think he's referring to movies. When compared to movies, this shit came out a LOOONNNG-ass time ago.

  • TheQiwiMan

    The half-second lag on the screen behind him is keeping me so distracted..... mesmerizing....

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  • Trojanman

    The ultimate troll in everyday life ^

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