The Future Is Now: Microsoft's Holoportation System

March 29, 2016


To help us forget that their AI bot was a complete and disastrous failure, this is a video demonstration of Microsoft Research's holoportation system. The system "allows high quality 3D models of people to be reconstructed, compressed, and transmitted anywhere in the world in real-time." Obviously, the implications for the p0rn industry are staggering.

When combined with mixed reality displays such as HoloLens, this technology allows users to see and interact with remote participants in 3D as if they are actually present in their physical space. Communicating and interacting with remote users becomes as natural as face to face communication.

So basically you can now holograph yourself anywhere in the world. Exciting times! I'm going to insist that from now on for work I only telecommute, and if I'm needed for a meeting I'll just holotransport myself there. Possibly in a bathrobe. Possibly in nothing but a neck tie I Sharpied onto my chest. But probably in a bathrobe. Then I'll continually repeat, "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope," until they hang up on me and I can go back to bed.

Keep going for a video of the future.

Thanks to everybody who sent this, at least one of which expressed an interest in holotransporting himself straight into my living room, which is why I just covered my whole apartment with anti-holoportation paint.

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