Potentially New 'Ghost Octopus' Discovered Off Hawaii

March 8, 2016

ghost-octopus.jpg

This is a video of a potential newly discovered species of octopus, found some 4,000-meters (~13,100-feet, ~2.5 miles) below sea level off the coast of Hawaii. For reference, Bikini Bottom is I don't know how deep because that information was surprisingly not included on the SpongeBob Wikipedia page. I DEMAND ANSWERS. Just kidding, I demand we bridge the gender pay gap. It's not okay.

The researchers weren't looking for ghost octopuses. They were collecting geological samples. But then they came upon this pale thing sitting on a rock.


The explorers said that this looked like a incirrate octopod, which doesn't have fins or cirri (filaments found on the creature's sucker).

They also said that unlike other octopods, this little Caspar-like creature didn't seem muscular.

The NOAA speculates that this is "almost certainly an undescribed species and may not belong to any described genus."

Exciting times! I can't find my car keys but scientists are finding new octopuses at the bottom of the middle of nowhere. We have to take care of planet earth -- that's the real message here. Wait, was that the real message here? "Turn the paper over." It says 'Give me all your money and you won't hurt.' Is this some sort of prank? Maybe I want to get hurt, you ever think of that? Last week I pulled my thumb back all the way until it broke. I'll do it again too just as soon as the cast comes off.

Keep going for a video of the little booger.

Thanks to Shaina, who has always dreamed of having an octopus friend. Me? I will take any friend. Even a rock.

  • Hazakabammer

    Starting to think the Geekologie writer is an ignorant, narrative loving, liberal retard. If his recent posts are anything to go by. Especially that one about the Gods of Egypt racism.

  • timeiskey

    the "its not okay" is obviously satire

  • Munihausen

    I think he is TheSuperficial writer, Keith or whatever his name is.

  • Hazakabammer

    No idea, this is the only blog I read.

  • Munihausen

    Hah, that "pay gap" again. Let's, um, first bridge the gender employment and education gap, you know, the ones where female unemployment is less than male unemployment (up to Jan 2016), females out-graduate males in college, and more of the people 25+ who have bachelor's degrees are women than men.

    Suicide gap, violent death gap, incarceration gap...can keep going...

    Politicians! Tell me what I want to hear and promise me free shit and I will vote for you!

  • chi_town_skunk

    'Bridge the gender pay gap?' Come on GW, you're better than that. Anyone who looked into the supposed pay gap just a little bit would discover that it is complete BS.

  • Hazakabammer

    It's actually funny because if you do the research, you find that in fields where women can work at the same level as men (i.e. office work, since they wouldn't be able to handle oil rig work to the same level) women have an advantage in getting those jobs. They have advantages in the retail sector too. The actual statistics are that the pay gap is real, but it's men who get paid less. When feminists come up with the pay gap bullshit, they usually target high income jobs, like STEM and finance (even with their skewed data, it's a myth), they don't look at the average jobs where there's actually a pay gap for men earning less than women do.

  • Brad Walton

    How dare you! What kind of person would even think to look into something so insensitive to womankind?

    When a man and a woman apply for the same job, it's a known fact she will get paid less for the same work. When you dig too deep and try too hard to "educate" yourself on the subject, you lose sight of the FACT that women ask for the salary they feel they are worth and then the boss explains, "I can give you the job, but you just asked for a man's salary. I do like your tits though, so 75-80 percent seems fair, right?".

    This is the horrible story for all women who have ever worked. Don't ask your fellow employees, just understand that every woman who works around you is definitely getting paid less than you. In many cases, women never even get to hold full dollars. I try to be as fair and sensitive as possible, so I always round up when I give change back to women. I say "you deserve the full dollar, because you are strong!"

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