Darker Than Your Ex's Heart: The New Blackest Material

March 8, 2016


This is the latest production of Surrey NanoSystems' VantaBlack nanotubes. The previous version absorbed 99.96% of visible light. This one absorbs 99.965%. An extra five-thousandths of a percent! Hey, I'd be celebrating too if I'd made it. I haven't made anything but dinner last night and I burnt the garlic bread and ruined my date. Just kidding, there was no date or garlic bread, just microwavable Salisbury steak and sadness. The material is so dark that even a laser pointer doesn't reflect any light back to the viewer. Now that is BLACK. I want the inside of my eyelids coated with this stuff so even when I close my eyes in full sun it's completely dark. That way I can still nap on my journey into the sun. "You'll never survive." It's not about surviving. "What's it about then?" Personal growth. "You're going to die." No, I'm going to grow into a fireball.

Keep going for two videos demonstrating just how black VantaBlack is.

Thanks to n0nentity, who tried to tell me his ex's heart is even blacker, which, based on the stories he told me, might actually be true. I can't believe she did that.

  • randalator

    Still only 74% as black as my soul...

  • Bender Rodriguez Senior

    You really don't know my Ex.

  • Jacob


  • The_Wretched

    I'm waiting for a new season of Darker than Black

  • archer923

    So once they get to 100%. Will have a nice black hole? Or go to warp 10?

  • jodamiller

    Looking at it from the amount of light reflected, the amount dropped from 0.04% to 0.035%. The new amount of light reflected was reduced by 1-(0.00035/0.0004) = 12.5%. Not too shabby!

  • JimmyJam

    Meanwhile, Wesley Snipes is holding strong at 99.97%.

  • Clipper44

    I wonder what percentage of radar 'light' this material absorbs..

  • Bob Atomic

    My guess is that they'd have to use different nanomaterials to absorb different wavelengths

  • MustacheHam

    hmm...so is that the new screen for the next Blackberry?

  • Cover a fighter jet or a missile in that stuff and say goodbye to laser targeting.

  • TheQiwiMan

    I want a full ninja suit made of this material. So i can sneak around my neighborhood at night. And be a ninja.

  • James Mcelroy

    I want a tactile neck in the new slightly darker black.

  • Bling Nye
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