Because every single product in the world will soon be available with a Star Wars theme, this is the Darth Vader toothpick dispenser from Bandai dropping this June for around $26. With a flick of a lever on his back, Vader reaches into his cape, grabs a toothpick, then points it at you menacingly like a lightsaber. It's not a lightsaber though, it's a toothpick. You're gonna use it to pick spinach or a popcorn kernel from between your teeth. Or, if you're me, you're going to use it to stab the leg of whoever's sitting next to you at the dinner table -- probably my brother, Frank. I'm sorry, Frank, but I'm going to need to eat your dessert too.
Thanks to DieselNuts, for reminding me my mom has all my baby teeth in a jar somewhere, which I should go get before somebody tries to steal them and make a potion to do me harm.