Bye, Florida!: Global Warming Heat-Activated Coffee Mug

March 16, 2016


This is the $14 Global Warming Mug from The Unemployed Philosophers Guild. As the mug is heated, the continents' coastlines just melt away. And not good melt away like stress after you get home from a long day's work and take your shoes and socks off and crack open a beer. Bad melt away like ice cream you really wanted to eat. Now I want ice cream but I don't have anything in the freezer but Otter Pop freezies. And now I'm going to have to eat like eight of them to make up for not having any REAL ice cream. It's like how yesterday I had to eat a whole package of Chips Ahoy to make up for them not being Girl Scout Cookies. My brain is great at justifying things, just f***ing awful at everything else.

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