Must Be Nice: Woman Gets Airline Flight All To Herself

February 4, 2016

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These are a couple shots of Zhang aboard the Chinese airline flight she got all to herself thanks to people cancelling their trips due to winter storms or booking an earlier flight. You know I've been on a plane with only one other person before. Unfortunately, that person was not a pilot and we crashed into the side of a jungle mountain. I live here now, it's like Lost but without all the weird shit happening. I'm bored come rescue me.

Zhang had a grand time on the 2-hour ride. She didn't have to fight over armrests or listen to screaming babies. Instead, she switched seats often, chatted with the flight attendants, and shared a bag of oranges with the pilot.

There is nothing better than a flight with almost nobody on it. I like to find a seat without anybody in front of me because I have long legs and if somebody tries to recline their chair it will break my kneecaps. One of my kneecaps is already broken from a bicycle accident and I can't kneel on it or I get a shooting pain up my leg. I asked a doctor to take a look at it but he asked where my pet is and told me he's a veterinarian and he's not going to look at my knee even though I was kind of dancing a $5 bill in front of his face and raising my eyebrows enticingly.

Thanks to n0nentity, or may or may not be a ghost inside the machine. I don't even know what that means but I just gave myself the chills.

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