Man Marks His And Wife's Sides Of Bed With Laser Line

February 9, 2016

bed-laser.jpg

Tired of fighting for his side of the bed, Redditor jonathan881 went and bought a $40 laser and mounted it in the bedroom to divide the bed perfectly in two halves. No word if the laser is powerful enough to burn an arm or leg off for crossing the line, but in my mind it is.

"In our house there is no debate, ONLY DATA," writes Jonathan. "I asked whom she thought was the more frequent offender, she guessed 50/50 i'm no noob...this is totally playful, no spite at all. I'm a lucky guy."

You know how I make sure I get my fair share of bed space? "Not having a girlfriend." YEP. Works like a charm. Although I do have a little eleven pound dog that likes to sleep right in the middle of the bed. Plus she hogs all the pillows. I've argued with her that bed space and pillows should be divided according to body weight, but then she came back and told me it should be divided by furriness or number of legs, so I dropped it. I slept on the couch last night.

Thanks to Jeffrey S, who agrees sheet and blanket stealing is the real issue here.

  • Dan Botto

    lasers should only be in the bedroom to spice up your sex life

  • Mofks

    Clearly he has never owned a cat. I sleep on the very edge of my bed to make sure i dont wake up my kitty when she is sprawled out!

    I would probably do the same for a girl...... but kitty would still come first

  • ana hnd

    and if she moves the bed? just saying i would move the bed

  • ShartInYourJacuzzi

    Wow that man sure hates vagina.

  • If they start taking all the space and/or the covers, pretend you're asleep and punch them in the side of the head.
    Or just lie on top of them - that works.

  • Awww, I haven't been internetting enough. I came down to the comments specifically to preach my "Lie on Top of Them" method, but ye beat me...

  • Jéssica Aline

    i'm happy with my arrangement: have sex in everything until it all feels too sweaty for the cats.

    i'm GLAD to have 25% or more of the bed

  • Indeed. If the bed feels clean, it means it's just been installed...

  • Bling Nye

    I just push my erection on her, voila, all the bedspace I want...That, or sex.

    WINWIN.

  • PUNX

    dude if you are gonna argue about that just wait till you want to have some sexy time she will deny you because you need to stay on your side.

  • Which half is the dogs?

  • Frédéric Purenne

    Who cares how much bed space you're taking? It's who has the bedsheets that counts...

  • Jenness

    Exactly

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