Man Kicked Out Of All-You-Can-Eat Buffet After Staying Seven Hours, Eating 50 - 70 Pounds Of Food

February 15, 2016


UPDATE: Satire website, ignore everything and punch me in the kidney like I deserve.

51-year old Mr. Flemmings is suing Golden Coral for $2-million after being kicked out of one of their all-you-can-eat buffets in Massachusetts. Witnesses say he spent more than seven hours eating between 50 - 70lbs of food before a manager told him to leave. Me? I would have brought him another plate of crab legs and encouraged him to go for a full 100 pounds because I am good at customer service and would have turned it into a tourist attraction.

"It's a serious injustice, and I am deeply insulted!" Mr. Flemmings told reporters. "With my income, I rarely go to the restaurant, so I try to get as much as I can for my money when I do. This was the worst experience I have ever had in a restaurant. Not only did they kick me out while I was still hungry, but they looked at me like I was disgusting, like I was not worthy of eating there! It's unacceptable, and I demand a compensation!"

Mr Flemming says the employee of the Golden Corral did not use any insulting language, but he claims that the disgust that was visible on their faces has left him with some deep emotional wounds.

You know I briefly worked an all-you-can-eat buffet in college and there were people who would come and eat as much as they could, then purposefully go puke in a restroom stall so they could eat more after. It was always hard for me to wrap my head around that. It was also hard for me to clean up those bathroom stalls without puking myself. The only thing okay about that job was the free soft-serve.

Thanks to Alex, who once tried to eat his weight in cocktail shrimp but failed miserably. I drank four gallons of chocolate milk in a day once.

  • MM

    Who in their right mind would believe this?!? Fifty pounds?

  • MM

    I agree with the fat man. If you offer it, you have to honor it.

  • BagmanX

    lol you do know this article is a hoax, it even says so in the original news story. "Information contained in this World News Daily Report website is for information and entertainment purposes only."

    The photo they use to illustrate the story is not of 'Mr. Flemming' or 'Mr. Flemmings' but of 'James', aged 38 from Frankston, Texas, a contestant in TLC's show 'My 600-lb Life' about extremely obese people

  • Kanger

    Did these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat?

  • Dexter Morgan

    Oh, this is no joke. I know a guy who got kicked out of a buffet for eating like 50 fish fingers.

  • Deksam

    Real or not, the 70's show C.H.i*P.S. had this very ordeal in one episode. Ponch and John couldn't budge the huge guy who simply pulled his chair up to the buffet trays and ate.
    He started yelling "I paid for this agreement of all I can eat. I am not leaving till I am full." [That guy probably died a few years after that episode was aired and so does this guy.]

  • Andrew Newton

    It would be ironic if the person pictured sued the satire site for using his likeness without his permission.

  • Andyman7714

    Wow about a mint? It's wafer thin.

  • Major Lee Gassole

    F off. I'm full. ;)

  • TanktopOverreach

    I immediately suspected bullshit when I saw "50-70lbs of food". No human can do that, even in 7 hours.

  • Elak Swindell

    Mr. Creosote, is that you? Would you like a chocolate mint?

  • DrZanz

    I wanted this to be real for so many sadistic reasons.

  • You'd be happy to know that this sort of thing isn't as uncommon as you'd might think.

  • MustacheHam

    I have thought of moving to Massachusetts for quite some time...but I have changed my mind considering the safety of my life.

  • Ed

    The same website is reporting that they found the pilot from MH370 . . . alive . . . at the same buffett.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Other glorious headlines:

    "Man cures himself of cancer by having sex up to 18 times a day"

    "Hermaphrodite Impregnates Self, Gives Birth to Hermaphrodite Twins"

  • Emmitt Morgans

    "Golden Coral" sounds like a chain of aquatic-themed strip clubs.

  • Hmmmmm... Alright, I'm in. I'll start rounding up investors.

  • Ed

    Sebastian the crab will MC, "Unda Da sea . . . "

  • Troy Snell

    Burn him at the steak!

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