Conspiracy!: Ancient Sculpture Of Lady Using A Laptop

February 5, 2016

ancient-greek-laptop-sculpture.jpg

This is an ancient Greek sculpture of what appears to be a woman using a laptop. Of course it's not a laptop, it just looks like one. Just kidding, totally a laptop. I think she's Skyping a lover and about to take her top off!

The piece, "Grave Naiskos of an Enthroned Woman with an Attendant," is a marble carving created in 100 B.C. and features a woman lounging on a chair while reaching toward "the lid of a shallow chest held by a servant girl," the piece's description on the Getty website explains.

Pfft, I know a shallow chest when I see one, and that isn't one. What shallow chest has USB ports? That is a LAPPY TOPPY. Also I'm pretty sure that armrest is a giant lightsaber. And her little servant? CYBORG CHILD, possibly from outerspace.

Keep going for a closeup of the computer and a conspiracy video in case you want to go down a crazy person's rabbit hole.

Thanks to Andrea, who informed me she just spent three hours going down conspiracy rabbit holes on Youtube and is really hoping IT doesn't look at her browser history because she's already been warned once before.

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