Because Keep Portland Weird, this is a video of the Unipiper dressed as Kylo Ren, balancing on top of a headless BB-8 (what did you do to him?!) while playing Europe's 'The Final Countdown' on flaming bagpipes in the rain. Did you forget this was the internet? As proud as your high school English teacher would be, this isn't a book. This is a series of tubes. Think of it as like, a subway system of information. No -- a sewer system. It's way more like a sewer.
Keep going for the video, then inquire for his birthday party rates.
Thanks to Ashraf H, who's more than a little disappointed he also wasn't juggling lightsabers.