Who's Eating Who?: Terrifying Cthurkey Turkey Dinner

November 25, 2015


Note: I moved this post up from last year (and the year before) because Thanksgiving should be scary.

This is the Cthulhu inspired Christmas dinner made by Texan Rusty Eulberg and his wife. It consists of a bacon layered turkey (although I'm using the term 'layered' very lightly because three strips ain't shit) with crab legs underneath and a couple octopus tentacles poking out of its ass. Would you eat it? "God no." I love how easily you lie to yourself.

According to Eulberg, he and wife Jennifer Robledo "wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours. Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken."

Eulberg says, "The universal reaction was, 'Oh my God, I couldn't eat that.' But each individual piece was cooked separately; all I did was set them together on the plate. It was delicious.

Ah, so all the different pieces were cooked separately. In that case I call all the crab legs. "But--" But nothing, pass the butter. "You can't have ALL the crab legs." I can and I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the kid's table. They get me over there.

Keep going for two more shots of the taste sensation.



Thanks to fat piggie, who is terrified of winding up on somebody's table this Christmas.

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