This Will All End Very Badly: Rumblr, A Tinder Style App To Set Up Fist Fights With Local Opponents

November 10, 2015


Aahahhahaha, Mattyice I will f***ing destroy you and your shitty-ass phone!

Rumblr is a new app currently in development (whether it actually gets released remains to be seen) that lets users set up fight-club style dates with other crazy people in the area. There is absolutely no way anything could possibly go wrong with this, especially not 1) anybody dying, 2) the cops getting called or 3) the cops getting called and everybody dying.

"Rumblr is an app for recreational fighters to find, meet and fight other brawl enthusiasts nearby," according the app's website. It encourages users to insult their matched opponents with this pro-tip: "tell your match what you don't like about their picture."

The fight's location and time is also publicly broadcasted so other users can come and watch the melee, according to the website.

The app comes with a chat feature to talk trash and an interactive map, for users to find fights happening near them. It also has a filter system, with "RumblrHER" to find women fighting, and "RumblrGROUP" for crew brawls.

Wow, there's even a group brawl filter. Let's all meet by the old middle school and beat the shit out of each other. After we've all had enough we'll break out the knives and guns and really put the hurt on each other. Who's in? Anybody? Come on. You want me to just stand there stabbing myself? Because I'll do it, I don't care, I just love fighting. *grabs left hand with right hand, throws it through window*

Thanks to WHYARENTYOUPLAYINGFALLOUT, which is probably the most legitimate question I've been asked all day.

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