This Will All End Very Badly: Rumblr, A Tinder Style App To Set Up Fist Fights With Local Opponents

November 10, 2015


Aahahhahaha, Mattyice I will f***ing destroy you and your shitty-ass phone!

Rumblr is a new app currently in development (whether it actually gets released remains to be seen) that lets users set up fight-club style dates with other crazy people in the area. There is absolutely no way anything could possibly go wrong with this, especially not 1) anybody dying, 2) the cops getting called or 3) the cops getting called and everybody dying.

"Rumblr is an app for recreational fighters to find, meet and fight other brawl enthusiasts nearby," according the app's website. It encourages users to insult their matched opponents with this pro-tip: "tell your match what you don't like about their picture."

The fight's location and time is also publicly broadcasted so other users can come and watch the melee, according to the website.

The app comes with a chat feature to talk trash and an interactive map, for users to find fights happening near them. It also has a filter system, with "RumblrHER" to find women fighting, and "RumblrGROUP" for crew brawls.

Wow, there's even a group brawl filter. Let's all meet by the old middle school and beat the shit out of each other. After we've all had enough we'll break out the knives and guns and really put the hurt on each other. Who's in? Anybody? Come on. You want me to just stand there stabbing myself? Because I'll do it, I don't care, I just love fighting. *grabs left hand with right hand, throws it through window*

Thanks to WHYARENTYOUPLAYINGFALLOUT, which is probably the most legitimate question I've been asked all day.

  • Cocksmith

    Rumblr started as a portfolio project to help us launch our creative consulting agency, von Hughes. We’re a fun-loving, passionate team with backgrounds in marketing, design, and engineering. Rumblr originally came about organically as a funny idea, but quickly became something much bigger than that. Within a day or two, Rumblr got picked it up by a notable tech news source and, within another day or two, it spread to dozens and dozens of news outlets globally. We took this as an opportunity and during this whole time we worked tirelessly, replying to hundreds of tweets one by one, growing the (fictional) brand, getting press, and ultimately developing the ‘beta’ web version that you see today. It’s been a wild ride, and in turn, Rumblr became a relevant topic in multiple countries, cultures, and languages. We hope it was as fun for you to keep up as it was for us to work on.

    We understand that some of you were genuinely looking forward to using an app like Rumblr, and we’re sorry to disappoint. However, if you still are truly wishing to release some built-up angst, consider fighting more pressing issues such as gang violence, domestic abuse, and at-risk youth culture.

    Fight on,
    Matt, Jack, & Andrew

  • Meh

    Darwinism at work.

  • Xockszky

    I'm not saying he's overly attractive, but if I saw him on Grindr, I would at least check for dick pics.

  • Alex Cherry


  • ToyBoxofGuns

    Whoever is behind this app needs to prepare their buttholes for a serious legal reaming.

    On the plus side, it couldn't happen to better people.

  • Guesticle

    FAKE total photoshop job, the shadows are all wrong. this is like that movie never back down where max and baja go to support groups for fun, and then lmax meets jake on a plane and starts something called "project mayhem" but they turn out to be the same person which makes the fight scenes a little awkward.

    ...its just not the same :( daisy come back!

  • fake. google it.

  • sionus

    Spoiler alert, it's not a real app.

  • Smivey

    It's a hoax, as a little research will show.

  • Tom Dee

    this was already debunked. Details are on if you care to look.

  • Jason Christopher

    My god, I hate this so much.
    On the flip side, anyone who uses this really does deserve to be beaten. So there's that, I guess.

  • Ronnie Crozier

    its fake funny you thought it was real gullible

  • Jason Christopher

    Well, it's not like something this stupid is out of the realm of possibility. The world is full of stupid people.
    Also, punctuate.

  • Sabrina Shaffer

    So far this year I have earned 68,000 dollars with my pc and I am a college student . I am connected with a business entity that outsource online jobs . I heard about it last year and I have made such great cash . It is great and I am just so happy to have that option ….... Look here for details ...

  • Ronnie Crozier

    its fake

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