That's Too Big: Man Kills Gigantic Rattlesnake In Arkansas

November 12, 2015

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This is the giant western diamondback rattlesnake that an Arkansas man (who looks suspiciously like one of my uncles) shot and killed after it bit one of his dogs. No word if the dog is okay, but that snake definitely isn't. If I was that guy I would use the snake to make my own cowboy boots. And I would sew a venom-soaked fang to the toe of each boot so every enemy I kick is immediately poisoned. The man borrowed his wife's purple .38 revolver to dispatch the snake, which he killed while wearing flip-flops because some people still believe in taking chances. You think he ever waits for the 'WALK' sign to cross the street? Or replaces the batteries in his home's smoke detectors? "What's meant to be will be," I imagine him saying to himself while driving to work with his eyes closed.

Keep going for a couple more shots with a more realistic perspective, including one with the murder weapon.

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Thanks to Ruby G, who would have lashed a seat to that rattler and made it her new battle mount.

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