This is a video of a crow riding a windshield wiper. He is loving it. This is probably like riding an amusement park ride for a crow and that's saying a lot because crows can ALREADY FLY which is way more exhilarating than any roller coaster. If I could fly I would never visit another amusement park again. Okay that's not true but I would only go for the food and trying to win the big stuffed animals. You know what my funnel cake eating record is? "Four?" ALL OF THEM. Plus six corn dogs and three cotton candies. If I was a bird I would definitely be too heavy to fly. When I was feeling down the other day you know what my buddy told me? Keep your chins up. That's when I tackled him and tried to smother him between my tits.
Keep going for the video, then wish the crows in your neighborhood were cooler and liked to party.
Thanks to Barnaby, who agrees it's only a matter of time before crows learn to drive and start stealing cars.