This is a video from the Slow-Mo Guys of a homemade fire tornado filmed in ultra slow motion. Previously: a natural fire tornado in (where else?) Australia. It was pretty mesmerizing to watch. You know what's even scarier than a fire tornado though? A LAVA HURRICANE. I like to call them lavacanes. "There's no such thing as lavacanes." What about windquakes? "No." Well I'm going to invent a fantasy universe where they do exist, and I'm gonna make a fortune writing books about wizards and sea monsters and all the other cool shit that lives there. Obviously, they will be romance novels, because if there's one thing I know how to write, it's a steamy sex scene. Check this out: She was fondling her pert breasts under his 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton bedsheets when he appeared at the bathroom door, swinging his penis around like an old-timey airplane propeller, just itching to take off. She smiled coyly before raising herself up in the bed and projectile vomiting all over the comforter because food poisoning from Applebee's the night before. Wait, wait -- let me start over.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to IKnowHowYouFeelAboutFire, who really does. You get me.