What...The Hell Are Those?: Star Wars High Heels With Lightsaber Heels, Curtain Tie Laces

October 13, 2015

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These are the custom Star Wars high heels designed by UK based Irregular Choice. I don't know about you, but when it comes to footwear my choice is always irregular, because my left foot is 2.5 sizes bigger than my right. I am what you call-- "A FREAK." Your words hurt me. Man, just look at these shoes -- they've got everything. Lightsaber heels, rancor leather, those fancy tie-backs my mom uses for window treatments as laces. Could you imagine a stripper with a rebel alliance tattoo dancing in these? You'd have no choice but to throw all your Galactic credits on stage. Then get a lap dance and, while she's dancing, casually ask, "How many bothans died to bring you those shoes?" You will make eye contact, and in that moment, you will realize love is real. Five months later you will be married and living together, the end.

Keep going for a couple more shots of these as well as a pair of C-3PO flats and an R2-D2 heel.

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Thanks to carey, who asked me to buy a pair for her but I'm pretending like I didn't read that part of her email.

  • Those are some of the most hideous shoes I've ever seen.

  • Elak Swindell

    Absolutely hideous footware. Disney is just allowing all kinds of crap to be put out now.

  • I love Irregular Choice. Their shoes are awesomely ridiculous. Those lightsaber heels are a crime against humanity. The R2 heels, though, are super cute and I'd wear them.

  • The_Wretched

    So high heel shoe with a tennis shoe flair to the toe? What's not to love?

  • Nika Simone

    I have a few pairs of Irregular Choice shoes, I love how outrageous they are, but really think they dropped the ball on the Star Wars like. Bummer.

  • TheQiwiMan

    "I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out, cringing in terror at a fatal overload of tackiness, and were suddenly silenced..."
    -Gandolf Dumbledore

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