The Moment We've All Somebody Maybe Has Been Waiting For: Caffeinated Peanut Butter

October 15, 2015

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This is Steem brand caffeinated peanut butter ($5 + shipping for an 8oz jar). It's great for people who would rather eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the morning instead of chugging a cup of coffee. Who is that? Nobody? Yeah, that's nobody.

The story of Steem is that of three guys who built a better hangover cure. What they discovered is that caffeine naturally bonds with peanut butter and is absorbed more slowly, giving you a more sustained and consistent release of energy. All that without loads of added sugar and unpronouncable ingredients. Try it before a run or workout, or instead of that second cup of coffee. But seriously, it's caffeine and peanut butter; what else do we need to say?

Wait -- it started as a hangover cure? I love peanut butter as much as the next person who doesn't know how to make anything but PB&Js, but not when I'm hungover. Whatever happened to bacon and eggs and four Advil? Or, my personal favorite hangover cure: morning drinking. I don't care how bad you feel, if you can get two or three beers and shots in you without puking, you'll feel worlds better. "But what if you have to go to work?" TAKE AN UBER.

Thanks to Melissa H, who dreams of a coffee IV that slowly drips you awake in the morning. Heck yeah, let's sell the idea to Folgers.

  • Jebedia6

    Did anybody else catch the Dugeons and Dragons stats under the ingredients like its a potion? Awesome

  • shashi

    Protip: Pair with adderall jelly for a mellow buzz

  • Oh my dear, sweet Lord, how flippin' awesome... Please, please, PLEASE release a Cashew Butter version, oh good folks at STE3M, I beseech thee!!! (I vote we start an email campaign, IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner...)

  • Royalblueduck

    How many milligrams of caffeine per serving? 150mg or 170mg?

  • It says 150 on the jar.

  • Guesticle

    what is serving size? thats a more important question

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