This is the Darth Vader silicon oven mitt available from ThinkGeek for $15 (previously: this space slug oven mitt). It looks like one of Vader's gloves and has the Imperial crest on the palm. Darth Vader's actual gloves did not have that because it would have gotten in the way of his Force choking. So, let's say Darth Vader is Force choking someone across the room but you're oblivious because you've got your earbuds in and walk right in front of the choke. Do you get choked? How much you wanna bet Vader has at least TRIED to use the Force to masturbate? Maybe he choked it off and that's really why he's so angry.
Hit the jump for an action shot.
Thanks to JD, who pulls things out of the oven with his bare hands because he doesn't care anymore.