22-Year Old Calls 911 Because He's 'Too High', Police Find Him In A Pile Of Doritos, Goldfish And Chips Ahoy

October 13, 2015


22-year old Andrew of Austintown, Ohio smoked a lot of weed and got uncomfortably high. So what did he do? What anybody who's ever gotten too high would, laid in a hot shower and reevaluated their life. Just kidding, he called 911.

When officers arrived, they were directed to an upstairs bedroom by the caller's grandfather. As they got upstairs they could hear "groaning from a room at the end of the hall." When they opened the door, they found the 22-year-old laying on the floor in a fetal position, surrounded by "a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies."

Upon seeing the officer, the man told him that he was "too high and could not feel his hands" and that he had "smoked too much weed." He also told the officer that some of the marijuana was still his car, gave him the car keys and told him he could take it all.

Inside the car, the police found a glass pipe that had marijuana residue on it, two packs of rolling papers, the remnants of two marijuana cigarettes and a glass jar filled with marijuana.

The man, whose name has not been released, refused medical attention.

Charges of possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia are pending.

"A plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies." Jesus, it sounds like he had everything he needed to weather the stoned storm. Don't think, just keep eating. Eventually you will pass out. Have you ever been so high you called the cops on yourself? Andrew has! Congratulations, Andrew, you got higher than I ever thought possible.

Keep going for a video news report, which includes the actual 911 call.

Thanks to Jeffe, who wants to get so high he calls all his old grade school teachers and tells them he loves them and their support and knowledge meant a lot growing up. Wait, what?

  • GeneralDisorder

    I had a friend who used to be a huge stoner until he was driving (allegedly drunk) and wrapped his 400 horsepower car around a telephone pole, killing his friend but putting him in a coma... Anyway, years later, dude looks and talks like he's had multiple strokes or some brain damage. Which yeah, he did. He's functioning and has some minor disability, all things considered.

    I smoked with him a few times until one day he and I went half on a bag and he took his half home. He decided to smoke when he was home alone and went into a panic attack. He felt like he was dying and called 911. Well, he wasn't dying. He was panicking and high.

    Cops and ambulance show up. He gets a lecture from law enforcement and a lecture from the medic, vitals check out and he ends up staying home. His parents were pissed right off. I knew about it minutes after it happened because my dad is a 50+ year firefighting veteran and always has a scanner with ambulance and police and fire on it. So I hear the address and think "oh shit, that's like... right across the road from my mechanic. I wonder if it's Johnny".

    A couple days later we're hanging at the bar playing pool. He asks me if I have any weed and I'm like "dude... of course I do. Are you sure you can handle it?" He assures me "I just smoked too much". Well, we're at the bar owned by his gay uncle. He freaks out and before I can do anything like drive him into the deepest woods and start digging a grave he calls his mom. She gets there, takes him out then calls the bar and demands to talk to me. Well fuck...

    I've only gone back about two or three times and my buddy's second or third cousin told me "if you were gonna lie about giving him weed I was gonna take you outside and beat the fuck out you".

    His gay uncle told me "don't do that ever again. I don't care if you feel like you owed him. He's shut off as far as you're concerned. If I hear about you giving him weed again you're banned for life."

    Anyway, the dude doesn't smoke anymore because he finally learned his lesson.

  • oiman

    what shitty fake story

  • GeneralDisorder

    You're a shitty fake story.

  • TheQiwiMan

    "No arrests were made". Good. No victim, no crime.

  • Would you say I have a plethora of Doritos?

  • steve holt

    this is the feel good story of the year.

  • KryptoTSD

    That youngster needs to serve time. And not all in a prison.... A psychiatric hospital, too...

  • timeiskey

    go fuck yourself. nobody was harmed. eat a dick

  • KryptoTSD

    Fuck You, you druggie cocksucker.

  • Seriously, I can't imagine how he could have been better equipped for the situation.

    Maybe that waffle robot from the harold and kumar christmas special. Maybe....

  • I like how she said no arrests were made. There needs to be a good guy popos meme.

  • Siegfoult

    All that and he refused medical attention? What was he, high or something?

    ... Oh yeah. Makes sense now.

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