What Kind Of Fertilizer Did You Use?!: Man Grows Massive 2,145.5 Pound Pumpkin

September 22, 2015


This is a shot of Gene McMullen, his wife, and the 2,145.5 pound pumpkin Gene grew. It set a new North American record for heaviest pumpkin (the world record for heaviest pumpkin is 2,323 pounds, grown by Beni Meier of Switzerland last year). That is a big ass pumpkin. That is like, big enough for Cinderella to ride to the ball in. Gene attributes his success to "dumb luck." I attribute my failure to terrible decision making. For the record though, that pumpkin does look like a deflated butthole. Also, my doctor just called and wants to borrow that scale before my next checkup.

Thanks to Jeffrey S, who was disqualified from the largest pumpkin competition because he clearly doesn't know the difference between pumpkins and zucchinis.

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