It Belongs In A Museum: Service To Have Your Tattoos Removed And Preserved After You Die

September 30, 2015

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The National Association for the Preservation of Skin Art (NAPSA) is nonprofit membership association that offers services to have your tattoos removed and preserved after you die, and presented to the person you want to have them. I want all mine given to my dog on special occasions for her to eat as treats.

The process is open to only members -- 18 years old and up -- of the nonprofit association, who pay an initial fee in addition to yearly dues. Those ready to pass along their dermis for posterity identify the piece they wish to preserve (which cannot be inked on the face or genitalia) and designate a beneficiary; within 18 hours of one's passing, the beneficiary then alerts NAPSA who will overnight send a removal kit and paperwork to the funeral home. The embalmer has to then remove the tattoo -- or tattoos -- within 60 hours, place it in a "nontoxic temporary preservation compound," and send it back to NAPSA, who will preserve the tattooed skin and return it to the beneficiary within three to six months. According to NAPSA, most funeral homes and embalmers are willing to follow through with the fairly easy removal process, although the organization also has a master embalmer who is building a network of funeral home providers for the service.

No face or wiener tattoos?! But that's all I have! Just kidding, those are only about two-thirds of what I have. On second thought I'm not so sure how I feel about somebody having such easy access to pieces of my skin after I'm dead. That is how black magic potions get made. Are they going to try to bring me back to life? Are they going to try to bring me back to life TO BE THEIR ETERNAL SLAVE? I feel like you should at least have to dig my body up if you're gonna try pulling that shit.

Keep going for several more examples of real preserved tattoos.

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Thanks to Ramon Z, who has a full-back treasure map tattoo which I plan on cutting off while he sleeps and sailing straight for the gold.

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