No, BB-8, you can't have sex with all the oranges.
A miniature home version of the BB-8 droid from the upcoming Star Wars movie is now available (well, tonight at midnight) from Sphero for $150. It can be controlled via a smartphone/tablet app, or set to autonomously patrol your house on its own. Oh man, the cat is going to love this.
"Meet BB-8 -- the app-enabled Droid that's as authentic as it is advanced," the official statement says. "BB-8 has something unlike any other robot -- an adaptive personality that changes as you play. Based on your interactions, BB-8 will show a range of expressions and even perk up when you give voice commands. Set it to patrol and watch your Droid explore autonomously, make up your own adventure and guide BB-8 yourself, or create and view holographic recordings."
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Almost never." Oh come on, you and me -- we're like two peas in a pod. "I want out of this pod." Don't say that, you're hurting my feelings. You really don't want to share a pod with me? "Absolutely not." Okay what if we were just cubicle-mates? "No." I'll let you play with my BB-8 toy! "Fine." Awesome, now let's kiss and make it official.
Keep going for a couple more shots, the official commercial, and a longer video about how the toy came to be.
Thanks to everyone who sent this, several of whom asked me to buy them one like I'm made out of money and not toilet paper wrapped around a coat rack.