Wait, What?: Luxury Vacation Company Offers Sandcastle Concierge Service To Come Build Your Sandcastle For You

August 5, 2015


Because most rich people didn't get rich by doing all the heavy lifting by themselves, luxury vacation rental company Oliver's Travels now offers Sandcastle Butler services at some of its European properties. Awesome. *riding on butler's back like a pony* Mommy and daddy said you have to build me whatever I want and I want a giant sand penis.

Our Sandcastle Butlers are being specially trained to make sure your family is the talk of the shoreline. You can forget about the usual squat, bucket-shaped blob draped with dead seaweed and start dreaming big! The only limit is your imagination, and if you book one of our butlers you'll get the full experience of being a true sand artist, including:

- Brainstorming ideas with your kids so they're building something truly spectacular - and it's not just sandcastles! Whether they want to sculpt characters from their favourite films and TV shows or a scale replica of whatever wild creatures fire their imaginations, we'll find a way to do it
- With the kid's ideas, we'll draw up some blueprints to help build your chosen sculpture
- Our butlers will make an inspection of the beach, making sure you get the best quality sand to build with in an area that's away from other beach goers and the threat of high tide
- And of course, on the day itself our butler will be there to help you and your kids make their idea a reality and build something stunning out of sand!

Alternatively, just let the sandcastle butler take your vacation for you so you can get back to burying yourself in work and ignoring your family like you really want to. Or, I don't know, actually spend some quality time with your kids. It doesn't matter if your sandcastle looks like a giant pile of shit, it's the giant pile of shit you built together. Family: that's the real message here. Jk jk, it's professionally sculpted sand penises.

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