Oh My: Adult Toy For Depositing Alien Eggs In Yourself

August 13, 2015


This is the Splorch ovipositor sex toy from Primal Hardwere. It was designed to resemble an alien or insect's egg-laying organ and used to squeeze homemade gelatin eggs into your own holes (eggs are inserted into the rear of the toy and massaged forward). It is probably not the best thing to eat deviled eggs out of at my neighbor's next cookout, but that will not stop me. Admittedly, I've heard of some pretty freaky-deaky fetishes before, but this? This is completely normal. Seriously, what's wrong with this? SPOILER: Absolutely nothing beside the fact it should come with a warning that you're not supposed to use it with plastic Easter eggs or if you do you should at least tape the two halves together because there is a situation in my ass right now and I'm supposed to be at the dentist in 25 minutes.

Keep going for a video demo of an egg being laid that is probably NSFW.

Thanks to Fifi, who agrees with the right combination of crop-circle designs you could probably get real aliens to come down here and deposit some eggs in your keister.

  • Travis Chippendale

    this dude enjoys himself more than showing the video ewwww

  • asdfadfs

    how do you get them back out

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Combine it with the spider robot and you got a face-hugger sex toy.

  • Jenness

    "This dildo lays eggs: Alcoholic jello shot eggs" I didn't make that up - there is a video at the end that shows a some sorority chick underneath the dildo about to suck down an egg like she's at some alien frat party. The only thing missing is her with 3 boobs or something.

  • BriteSkittle

    Because Hentai wasn't enough...

  • Isaac Bow.

    and doctors will wonder about a sudden outbreak of rubber eggs stuck in peoples ass'

  • Nathan Taylor

    I thought the same thing, but apparently they are gelatin eggs. So, that makes it better...right?

  • Sebastiann Elegant√© Neely

    If they're gelatin, then the heat of the body would melt them, so they wouldn't end up stuck.

  • Nathan Taylor

    True that.

  • shashi

    This video with the sounds, the unusual objects, the feelings of regret and remorse... its like rehab porn for ex-addicts

  • krampus

    and whats it like in that judgmental ivory tower of yours?

  • Munihausen

    The headline could also have been "FINALLY: Adult Toy For Depositing Alien Eggs In Yourself"

    That is some website they have there. I'm not sure what is more peculiar; the sex toy or the dude with a long sleeve button shirt tucked into dark jeans with a belt. You can tell the guy has a ponytail, or something, towards the end <8-o run!

  • I think I had a nightmare like that.

  • Andyman7714

    So if your fantasy is to get raped by an alien?

  • Tyguy

    ...It's like something out of a "Heavy Metal" comic (0.0)

  • Nathan Taylor

    The most interesting way to eat eggs since scrambling

  • Rick Thomas

    so where is the actual demo?

  • Nahyonsy

    I uploaded one to FunnyJunk


  • Rick Thomas

    Content was not found

  • I smell birthday gift!!

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