In completely unsurprising news, 36-year old Alex Gomez may lose his hand after attempting to pick up a rattlesnake to take a selfie with near his Lake Elsinore, California home. I wish this happened to more people who tried to take ridiculous selfies. Thankfully, Alex's mom is here to talk some sense.
"It could've bit his neck, and that would have been it. That's just being a fool," Alex's mother Deborah said to CBS Los Angeles.
Alex's mother says her son is embarrassed. But still, Deborah isn't being easy on her son for the decision to pick the snake up.
"I told him the news people had been calling, and he said 'Mom, you better not', and I said 'I'm going to'. I'm going to teach him a real good lesson when he gets home. No mercy for him."
Man, what an idiot. It's hard to believe that with Deborah's clearly exceptional parenting skills that Alex grew up to be a man that would think taking a selfie with a rattlesnake is a good idea, yet here we are. This is a great time to discuss the nature vs. nurture debate. Just kidding, this is a great time to crack open a beer and zone out watching me play video games.
Thanks to Simon, who I always ignore whenever he says to do something. YOU DON'T CONTROL ME, SIMON.