Disney Adding Massive Star Wars Lands To Its Parks

August 17, 2015


In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who understands how to make money hand over fist, Disney has just announced it will be adding 14-acre Star Wars Lands to both Disneyland and Disneyworld. They will be the largest single expansions ever made to the parks. Now -- on the count of three, ready? One....two.... "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY."

The Star Wars expansions will feature attractions, shops, and restaurants, all operated by Star Wars aliens and characters who will act in-character.

"Every restaurant, building, everything will be inhabited by the aliens and droids you'd expect to find there. You'd expect to find a Cantina - and there will be one. You'll have the chance to run into all the droids and fantastic beasts that Star Wars is known for," Iger continued. "You'll meet characters from The Force Awakens and more from the Star Wars saga. The land will have two fantastic signature attractions, including the ability to take the controls of the Millennium Falcon on a customized secret mission."

Finally, Iger said: ""We are creating a jaw-dropping new world that represents our largest single themed land expansion ever. These new lands at Disneyland and Walt Disney World will transport guests to a whole new Star Wars planet, including an epic Star Wars adventure that puts you in the middle of a climactic battle between the First Order and the Resistance."

There's going to be a cantina! And I am going to go there! And I am going to try to hide somewhere and stay till after they close so I can have the whole place to myself. I want to sit in the Greedo booth and pretend to talk to Han Solo. So, Han....God, you're just so dreamy. I know I look like a fly but can I have a kiss? What do you say we put the blasters down and I give you a back rub?

Keep going for a couple more artist's concepts (although I'm pretty sure there won't be actual spaceships flying around but I've been wrong before I'm usually wrong actually so now that I think about it I'm almost certain there will spaceships flying around).



Thanks to everybody who sent this, who should take me opening day and buy me that front-of-the-line pass because I do throw temper-tantrums in long lines.

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