Better Luck Next Year, Death!: Happy Birthday To Me

August 12, 2015


This is a video of Mr. Rodgers singing a new Happy Birthday song to me because it's my birthday. I am over 800 years old today because I am a sorcerer. Oh, the things I've seen. Mostly the interior of the mountain cave I live in. You know what happened to the last group of villagers who came up here toting torches and pitchforks? I invited them in because from a distance I thought they were a giant birthday cake and utensils. We are all friends now so it's cool. Happy birthday to me, happy unbirthday to you, somebody buy me a drink with a candle and no spit in it.

Keep going for the video I've been watching all day (thanks, Nathan!).

  • shashi

    Happy Birthday GW. Slightly belated or outrageously early, you decide!

    Ok, so I'm late, but I'll make up for it with an extra special kiss! ;-)

  • Peter Schmidt

    Happy birthday GW! Thanks for all the laughs :)

  • MaxPowers

    Happy Bday you awesome writing Dino loving Robot hating fool! Now go find a Dennys!

  • Major Lee Gassole

    Happy birthday! Mine is tomorrow, but Mighty Car Mods already said "Happy Birthday!"

  • RetroPAT

    Happy B-Day you awesome guy you...Thx for the memories.

  • DJ Shovelpants

    Cheers to you for tumbling out of your mom's crotch X years ago!

  • Ian Starfire

    Happy Birthday, It is my Cake Day as well GW.

  • Happy Birthday! I hope you don't die a horrible death next year.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Happy Birthday GW! Me love you long time!! 😀

  • Deksam

    Little know fact, his long sleeved shirts were always on to cover up his body and full sleeve tattoos from his army days, Google it. But Happy Birthday Mr. Rogers!

  • ToyBoxofGuns

    No he didn't, and he was never in the military. If you google "gullible" you'll find an apt description though.

  • Deksam

    yeah the internet lies, who knew.

  • Billy Rocka

    Coincidentally, Ernest (know what I mean vern?) was a major cigarette smoker but never allowed himself to be shown on camera smoking because he didn't want to be a bad influence on kids.

  • Classy Niggur

    Happy Birthday GW!
    Fucking love you and everything you stand for! <3

  • Michael Vieira

    Happy Birthday to both of us!

  • bluecheesedressing


  • Roark

    Bartender, Shots on Me... Happy Birthday - Bottoms Up

  • Sebastiann Eleganté Neely

    Happy birthday!

  • Gingerbread

    Happy birthday GW! When I need to cheer up, I read your stories and it's SUPER EFFECTIVE !!

  • tim

    Agreed... Nothing like pondering how he miraculously survives the day to make us feel better about ourselves. Happy GW day!

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