Atlantis, Here I Come!: Ancient Monolith Discovered In Mediterranean Sea

August 11, 2015

monolith-discovery-1.jpg

Dave -- turn around, the monolith's behind you.

A 10,000 year old 'Stonehenge-like' monolith was just discovered in the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Sicily, and paleontologists aren't saying too much about it because paleontologists study fossils. Archeologists are going f***ing nuts about it though. And rightfully so, the discovery may lead us straight to the Lost City Of Atlantis. I heard they had a machine that could turn plain old rocks into gold. I want that.

...the monolith, which weights about 15 tons, was made of a single, large block that required cutting, extraction, transportation and installation.


"Such an effort undoubtedly reveals important technical skills and great engineering,"

It is not known what the monolith's function was or whether it was part of a large complex.

"Most likely the structure was functional to the settlement. These people were used to fishing and trading with the neighboring islands,"

"It could have been some sort of a lighthouse or an anchoring system, for example,"

Interesting. But the archeologists think it was part of a lighthouse or an anchoring system? Please. I know exactly what this was. And it was a gift for the ancient Egyptians. That's right, it was-- "A giant dildo for the Sphinx." DING DING DING DING! You should be a detective, I bet you never lose at Clue.

Keep going for a couple more shots.

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Thanks to XZanderX3, who's really hoping its part of an ancient spaceship we can fly out of here before the world explodes (which it absolutely will if I have anything to do about it).

  • asdfasdf

    atlantis was /explicitly/ fictional

    seriously does EVERYBODY only skim the cliffnotes?

  • Neros_downfall

    Looks like Zues' penis

  • n.g.

    Zues' brother Poseidon*

  • Dingo

    or Zeus*

  • Steven Collatos

    i think you all mean Atlas...

  • What a shit comic strip.

  • Jack Reed Jr.

    All I can tell from these pics is where Ben Grimm can put his 'Thing' into. This story has too many holes in it.

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