Ultra Questionable: Ranking Of The Most Badass Fictional Weapons

July 27, 2015

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Note: This isn't the whole graphic, click HERE to see the whole thing in high-res or hit the jump to see it in the same resolution as the shot above and hurt your eyes.

This is a super questionable infographic ranking 30 different fictional weapons based on badassness. I disagree with pretty much the whole thing. As a matter of fact, I disagree with it so much I'm ANGRY about it. They didn't even include half the weapons they should have, and the ones they did are completely out of order. I just yelled at a coworker for no reason. Now he's crying. See? This is what happens when people make irresponsible infographics.

Keep going for a low-res version of the whole thing, then leave a comment about how ridiculous it all is. How is Beatrix's sword from Kill Bill only 35% badass when Jason's machete is 50%?! I'M GETTING ANGRY AGAIN.

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Thanks to Mark, who made the infographic or at least had something to do with it and should probably apologize to my coworker Anthony right now.

  • Fercho

    No further words. The answer is "lightsaber". Also Beatrix's sword is not fictional at all, right? I find it very real.

  • shashi

    The troll is strong in this one

  • Pajama Man

    Huh. "Virtually indestructible" is a weakness for Captain America's shield somehow.

  • Jeremy Ross

    By the way, guys, I think when they say a weapon is "virtually indestructable," they're saying that it has little or no weaknesses; Not that being virtually indestructable is a weakness. It's kind of poorly worded.

  • Jeremy Ross

    Well, they did get one thing right. A lot of these do depend on the skill of the user.

  • BriteSkittle

    GTFOH

  • DeathBotGamma

    Dropped the ball on this one.

  • Alicia Thomas

    Thors hammer was pretty impressive.

  • FearlessFarris

    This infographic must just be an elaborate form of trolling. It HAS to be. No self-respecting film/comic/game fan would have ranked these in this order. Or for that matter, have included anything from Harry Potter. Harry Potter is for those younger than 12, and fags.

  • Jeremy Ross

    Don't cut yourself on that edge, kid. I'm guessing you're about 14 or 15, judging by your accusation that anyone who likes something you feel is lame is a "fag." It's cool, chief. Hopefully you'll grow out of it though. Adults tend to frown on that kind of thing.

    The list is highly flawed, though.

  • Anyone thinking the Iron Man armour or, even worse, The Elder Wand, is more badass than a f***ing lighsaber is wrong. That is all.

  • Soylent Green Is People

    The person who created this infographic is an idiot.

  • Matthew Lloyd

    This is an awful list. BFG9k less powerful than a bow and arrow! That thing used to clear rooms and leave nothing but red puddles on the floor/wall/ceilings and anything else left standing in the room, which wasn't much. Downside of Thors hammer... how about no one except Thor can use it so it's useless to anyone else.

    And where the hell is the purple shell from Mario Kart? Raahhhh!

  • GeneralDisorder

    Superman wielded Thor's hammer. Not because he was actually Thor but because the hammer found him worthy or some stupid bullfuckery.

  • Mike

    The weakness for Mjolnir is that it's Virtually Indestructible? WTF?

  • Only Gob Forgives

    Had the same "weakness" for Cap's shield... Makes zero sense. Guess I was warned this was stupid in the article...

  • I don't understand what you wrote. All I read was "Flurdy gersh morn-dee moooo." (as per your icon).

  • Robert

    How can you list "Bad in close combat" for a ranged weapon and not list "Bad at ranged combat" for every close quarters weapon? This list makes me angry as well!

  • Most of the melee weapons do actually have that as a weakness. The ones that don't just have more severe weaknesses.

  • C-Basstian

    Iron Man weakness: very few? Uhhh wtf? How about the fact it has a limited power supply? How in the blue fuck does Jason's machete rank higher than the best Hanzo sword made???

  • Sam Levell ♠

    Yeah i though that too. Beatrix's sword killed the entire Deadly viper assassination squad, wounded or killed every member of the crazy 88 and also killed a couple of henchmen along the way.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I think Jason's Machete killed more people in the Jason movies? I don't know or care. Those movies stopped being entertaining when I was older than maybe 14 or stopped doing LSD (I wasn't 14 when I did LSD. I was 19).

    Also it's used by Jason Voorhees and he's kind of undead or supernatural or something. And he's been to space. So in that case they aren't rating the weapon so much as weapon in wielder's hands. Which is stupid.

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