Sweet tan, bro.
Note: Article originally published in October 2012, but it's going around the internet again because the internet is round like earth so you can sail all the way around it and end up back in the exact same spot (tie-in: boat, sailing).
This is HotTug, a hot tub/tugboat hybrid with a wood-burning heater to keep the water warm and a little motor to zoom you around the lake or canal while you're getting crunk on champagne. It costs ~$25,000, but they sell cheaper models if you don't want the heater or motor. Oooh --a cold tub that doesn't go anywhere! I'm pretty sure I already have one of those in my bathroom. Also: a pulsating shower head. Sometimes I like to close my eyes and pretend I'm going through a car wash. It's the little things.
Keep going for one more shot.
Thanks to Brandon, who knows drinking in a hot tub gets you drunk hard and fast and is a great investment for the serious boozehound. The initial outlay is steep, but it'll pay for itself in a couple years.