These are the $40 officially licensed Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver BBQ Tongs available for pre-order from Entertainment Earth (shipping in October, probably also available elsewhere). The tongs measure 22.5-inches and can be covered in a molded plastic storage case resembling the business end of the 11th and 12th doctor's Sonic Screwdriver when not in use. Did I mention it also produces sound effects powered by two AA batteries? Because it does. Did I mention it can also be used as an extra large dildo? Because it can. Remember: Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
Thanks to Stephanie A, who made me promise to watch the grill but I forgot and got drunk and now everything is on fire.