Someone Used The Bathroom So Bad On A Plane It Had To Turn Around And Land 30 Minutes After Takeoff

March 20, 2015


In what many are calling a blatant act of terrorism, somebody took a shit so foul in the lavatory of a British Airways flight from London Heathrow to Dubai that the flight had to turn around and land 30 minutes after takeoff. Wow. First of all, what kind of jerk takes a volatile shit not even 30 minutes into a flight? You should have checked those bags AT THE AIRPORT. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, it was probably a case of emergency diarrhea. But, just like how pools post those, "Persons having currently active diarrhea or who have had active diarrhea within the previous 14 days shall not be allowed to enter the pool" signs, the same should apply to flights. Maybe not 14 days though, maybe just two or three. Truthfully, I can't remember a time when I've actually gone more than three days without diarrhea. And please, for the love of god, tell your kid to stop punching the screen in the back of my headrest.

Thanks to Michael K, who agrees if you're having butt problems, you should stay grounded.

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