The following is Neil DeGrasse Tyson's favorite science joke. It's perfect for those of you who are into physics and corny science jokes. It's not so perfect for those of you who don't know what a Higgs boson particle is, and only like penis jokes. Obviously, it was completely lost on me. The joke:
Higgs boson walks into a church, and the priest says, 'I'm sorry we don't allow Higgs bosons to come to churches.' And [the Higgs] says, 'But without me, you can't have mass.'
For those of you who were unaware, the Higgs boson is believed to be the particle that gives all other subatomic particles their mass. Mass is also a colloquial term for church service. So that's the joke. Thank goodness Neil decided to pursue physics instead of comedy. Knock Knock. "Who's there?" Ion. "Ion who?" Ion your porch, open the f***ing door already! Damn, maybe I should have gone into physics too. OR REPTILE BREEDING.
Thanks to Marcus O, whose favorite joke is the one about the kid who farted and his house blew up. A timeless classic.