Doctors Perform First Successful Penis Transplant

March 18, 2015

peen-transplant.jpg

Seen here looking like the exact sort of team you'd hope was responsible for stitching your new pecker back on (guy in front right excluded), the doctors who performed the first successful penis transplant pose for a pic. Thankfully, not a dick pic.

The nine-hour operation, carried out by a team of doctors from Stellenbosch University and Tygerberg Hospital in Cape Town, took place on Dec. 11, 2014, but was not publicly announced until this month while doctors waited to see how the patient would recover.


Now fully convalesced, the hospital says the patient has regained all urinary, reproductive and sexual functions with his new penis. This came as a surprise to doctors, who expected him to take at least two years to recover.

This is only the second time surgeons have attempted such an operation, and the first time it's been successful.

The hospital did not identify the patient but did say the 21-year-old had to have his own penis amputated after he developed severe complications from his circumcision.

So many questions. 1) what's the story behind the other, non-successful penis transplant? 2) where did this penis come from? Is this what I get for checking the organ donor box on my driver's license? 3) What exactly are "severe complications from a circumcision" and how do I know if I have them? 4) can they use the same procedure to hook me up with a bigger penis? 5) What are the chances my body rejects the new penis? 6) because my current penis already gets rejected enough as it is.

  • Guest

    "to my firstborn, beloved daughter...I leave you this, your birthright unfairly denied you by fate, my most treasured possession. it has served me well in life as I am sure it shall serve its new master. and I want you to wield it with pride as my male heir. My only regret is not surviving to call you...my son"

  • asdfasdf

    how much longer until it becomes socially acceptable to leave transplant organs to people in your will?

  • karm42yn

    One big, black, bleached penis please.

  • steve holt

    remember that phrase, "I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick".....

  • Xockszky

    Just ban circumcision, it's mutilation! Fuck the fundies who still do it. We need to start being firm with religious fanatics. All they do is put themselves and everyone around them through misery, and they severely stunt progress for the rest of us who are too smart to believe in a magical sky wizard.

  • Guest

    circumcision kills

  • The_Wretched

    I hope he got an oversized donee. Also, can we please stop hacking bits off of genitals? God doesn't need to be fed any more bits and it creates suffering for actual humans.

  • Guest

    allah/yhvh doesn't eat them, its more like...you know those little nubs left on the edges of model parts after you snap them out of the sheet packaging? and then you sand it off?

    thats what circumcision was supposed to be. genetic jews and arabs(as opposed to cultural) had a common deformity of an extra flap of foreskin that extended past the tip and made you piss all over yourself and get infections and about half the time was too tight and made erections difficult. so they snipped a little bit off the tip to make it the same length and avoid health problems. and made it a sign of faith since it set them apart from the heathens and they were going to be doing it anyway.
    _____________
    and then some point long after the prehistoric jewish empire fell it became this whole thing to emphasize jewishness and avoid assimilation which eventually among other cultural drifts lead to cutting off the whole foreskin causing a ridiculous number of complications in modern times at a much higher rate than generally acknowledged(ranging from sexually unpleasant(hairy shaft, trapped penis, skinbridges, ect) to crippling(this guy) to death. (and some point after that that mohamad piggybacked off abrahamic success to exterminate the polytheists and conquer a region and copied the dick chopping with it)
    the modern version is more of a genital mutilation than the ancient version which is insane.

  • The_Wretched

    i'd like actual medical evidence that arab/jew men have excessive foreskin. That sounds like a just so story

  • steve holt

    Doctors detach deceased donor's dingus, deposit directly onto dickless dude

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    I wonder how much sensibility he was able to recover. In all those genital surgeries I wonder how much "fun" is preserved/regained and how much is just for aesthetics and psychological reasons.

  • JJtoob

    Can we talk that awesome pirate hat thingy?
    Also, all very good questions that I'd like answered too, GW.

  • Michael Knight

    must be a pretty small peener based on the use of those binocular glasses.

  • Kaizer Chief

    Ha ha, way to go South Africa! The world's first heart transplant, and now this - we've come a long way! BTW GW, there are a lot of guys who do traditional tribal circumcision, nasty stuff (done at around age 14 or 15, with a blunt spear...). Not saying that's necessarily what happened to this guy, but I think it's very likely.

  • Guest

    i donno...nyc had a bunch of babies die of herpes when a rabi sucked their dicks a year or 2 back

    could be anywhere.

  • steve holt

    hilarious write up, GW

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