About Time: Lufthansa Announces You'll Finally Be Able To Bring Your Falcon On Flights With A Special Perch

March 11, 2015

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And my bird would like another cocktail.

Airline Lufthansa has announced falconers will finally be able to bring their feathered brethren on board flights equipped with special Falcon Master perches. The Falcon Master mounts in place of a regular seat and provides a perch and tub to contain the bird and its mess. Hey, at least it won't be kicking my seat the whole time. Apparently a lot of airlines operating in Middle Eastern countries (where falconry is popular) have already allowed falcons aboard their flights. Me? My falcon is so well trained I just tell him where I'm going and he meets me there. I mean, he is a bird after all. I'm not paying for a ticket to fly a bird that can already fly, that's ridiculous. Isn't that right, Talon? "Um, GW -- you do realize birds can't talk? Also, you do realize that's a racoon and racoons can't talk either, right?" I was wondering why he just fell when I tossed him off the roof yesterday.

Thanks to me, for just learning to never buy another falcon out of the back of a guy's truck.

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