About Time: Lufthansa Announces You'll Finally Be Able To Bring Your Falcon On Flights With A Special Perch

March 11, 2015

falcons-on-planes.jpg

And my bird would like another cocktail.

Airline Lufthansa has announced falconers will finally be able to bring their feathered brethren on board flights equipped with special Falcon Master perches. The Falcon Master mounts in place of a regular seat and provides a perch and tub to contain the bird and its mess. Hey, at least it won't be kicking my seat the whole time. Apparently a lot of airlines operating in Middle Eastern countries (where falconry is popular) have already allowed falcons aboard their flights. Me? My falcon is so well trained I just tell him where I'm going and he meets me there. I mean, he is a bird after all. I'm not paying for a ticket to fly a bird that can already fly, that's ridiculous. Isn't that right, Talon? "Um, GW -- you do realize birds can't talk? Also, you do realize that's a racoon and racoons can't talk either, right?" I was wondering why he just fell when I tossed him off the roof yesterday.

Thanks to me, for just learning to never buy another falcon out of the back of a guy's truck.

  • Xockszky

    Cool! Falcons kick ass.

  • That's a really nice butter sculpture. What does any of this have to do with airplanes?

  • Jenness

    This is a thing? Wow. Uhhh ok. I mean unti someone's therapy rabbit or rat gets attacked and eaten and then it's screams of terror all around. I hope someone films it on their phone.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Seriously? You never heard of the band Falconer? They are Swedish and if you're not into power-metal and/or folk metal you probably wouldn't have a reason to hear of them.

    I have to assume that Falconer's record label has a private jet but now they can sell it thanks to Lufthansa. (note, I don't think the members of Falconer are actually falconers... But they might be because people in metal bands are into weird stuff and falcons are pretty awesome up until they shit on your hand, arm or head).

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Therapy or not having a rat on a plane would be enough for a lot of screaming.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Oh come on. Rats are cute. They're cuter and less horrible than hamsters and they don't stink like lots of other small animals.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Rats are smart and cool but there is way more people afraid of rats than hamsters.

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