Chill Your Drink With Stainless Steel Whiskey Bullets

February 11, 2015


Whiskey Bullets ($45) are pieces of milled stainless steel in the shape of bullets that you put in the freezer, then add to your favorite sipping drink to chill it without dilution. There's nothing really special about them compared to the other carved rock and metal drink chillers on the market except they're shaped like bullets and look cooler in your glass. Will I bite one between my teeth and tell my cat I'm tired of living? Yes. Will she care? No. Will I accidentally swallow it? Probably.

Keep going for a couple more shots in case you haven't decided whether or not these are the bullet-shaped drink chillers for you (I say just use some live ammo, f*** it).



Thanks to Luis, who chills his drinks the old fashioned way: not giving a shit and and just drinking it warm like a man. Shit, microwave it for a little, why not?

  • Randy Bradford

    I had no idea you could keep your drinks cold in style like this. I have a friend who is thinking about opening up a bar and this might be something he should look into. it seems like being able to cool drinks in unique ways like this might help draw more customers to your business.

  • Marcus M

    Yes, it will maybe draw more people. It will also result in a constant stream of outgoing money to replace the fake bullets that people run off with as souvenirs.

  • Looks like a "Dave"

    It looks slender enough to accidentally swallow, and too big to let pass through the body, and so will require medical attention. And the x-ray will look like you swallowed a bullet.

    Med Technician #1: "OMG! You swallowed a bullet!?"
    You: "No, it's a whiskey chiller."
    Med tech. #2: "Dude! You swallowed a bullet?!"
    You: "No, it's a whiskey chiller."
    Blood taker: "Did I hear that you swallowed a bullet?"
    You: "No, I swallowed a whiskey chiller that looks like a bullet."
    Nurse: "Oh my gosh, how did you swallow a bullet?"
    You: "IT'S NOT A BULLET!!!!!!!!"

  • Bling Nye

    I chill my whiskey the way nature intended, by letting it slide down past my cold heart into my belly of steel.

    Alternatively, I keep it nestled under a witch's tit. Barring that, the frigid vageena of any ex-lover will do.

  • Kg3

    When did Geekologie become the discussion grounds for thermodynamics of various solids in whiskey? To quote the great movie Robocop "I LIKE it!"

  • John Samuel αΩ

    There are only two things that belong in a man's body: whiskey and bullets.

  • Bling Nye

    I had two slugs in me, one bourbon, one lead.

  • The_Wretched

    I was hoping you'd say banana slug.

  • Fred

    Besides from the possibility of lead poisoning wouldn't it be cheaper just to use actual bullets filled with ice?

  • GeneralDisorder

    Thankfully bullets are coming out with projectile type "TMJ" or Total Metal Jacket (meaning that the lead is not exposed even when the projectile leaves the barrel, only when the bullet mushrooms on impact does the lead come out).

    So yes. You could use live ammo. Just don't use round-nose lead revolver ammo, softpoint rifle ammo, hollowpoint anything, and for the love your own life, make sure you wash the fucking casings off because case and bullet lubricant isn't exactly food grade. For what it's worth I have no idea if there's any toxic substances exposed at the primer end and I don't know how brass works with alcohol (I assume alcohol is not corrosive toward brass and copper but maybe someone smarter than me should chime in before anyone goes and tries it).

  • Fred

    Yeah for the sake of simplicity I didn't bother getting into FMJ/TMJ/CMJ stuff. I think lead coated in a copper jacket would still have the potential to contaminate as the copper corrodes or gets scratched from use. A full metal jacket steel penetrator AP round would make the best drink cooling option but I couldn't begin to try and make that funny.

  • Yokona Tehashi

    Lead poisoning requires lead....these are steel.

  • Fred

    Yeah I got that thanks. Read my comment again. 'Wouldn't it be cheaper to use actual bullets'. You know... because these cost $45 and simply taking the powder out of a real bullet and filling it with water would be cheaper.

  • TempUserName4

    These won't work (well). The reason ice works isn't because it's cold. It's because there is a phase change between a solid and a liquid that removes energy from the system.

    So unless these are made of some metal that changes phase at room temperature (like cesium, for example... and good lord help you if you choose to do that), I'm not buying it.

  • ODwanKenObi

    Really not following you on the phase change needed to cool something. Actually the liquid is not cooled by the ice/metal bullets as much as the ice/bullets are being warmed up by the liquid. Heat will move from higher temp to lower temp. Therefore we perceive the drink as being "cooled" and the bullets as having been warmed up.

  • TempUserName4

    When water goes through what is called a "phase transition" it requires a significant amount of energy. This means, when water goes from being a solid to a liquid, it takes energy from the system. This energy comes from the ambient heat of your drink.

    This is why ice works so much better than almost anything else, and why whiskey stones, and steel bullet thingies are stupid and a waste of money.

  • Peter Schmidt

    They aren't meant to cool drinks like ice cubes. They are meant to chill whiskey without diluting it.

  • TempUserName4

    I say this as a professional alcoholic...

    If you like cold drinks, but don't like dilution, store your shit in the freezer. Or store your glasses in the freezer. Both work equally well.

    Now I prefer for ice to melt in my drink, as it changes the flavor of the drink in what I would consider, a preferable manner.

    But bullet shaped baubles are silly, and will not work at all. I know this because I tried those stupid fucking whiskey stones, and... they didn't work at all. On top of this, I guarantee you that those stainless steel pieces in your drink are going to change the drink's flavor in a negative way. Nothing screams "great whiskey!" like metallic flavorings.

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