The Smiling Poop Emoji Shirt Of Your Dreams Is Here

January 9, 2015


Honey? You've got shit all over your nice shirt.

This is the Poo Emoji Button-Up Shirt available from Betabrand. It's currently on sale for $80 (from $88), which is still entirely too much to pay for a shirt with no sleeves. If I'm paying $80 for a shirt, you better believe it's gonna have long sleeves, and you better believe at least one of those sleeves is going to be concealing a hidden blade like in Assassin's Creed. Will I stab myself trying to put my coat on? Probably. Will my mom have to take to to the hospital? Probably. Will she make me promise to never carry a hidden blade again but I'll do it again anyways and the same thing will happen? Yes. My life is an endless cycle, like the symbol of a snake eating its own tail. Except if you look closer it's not a snake, it's a penis, and it's tail is balls.

Keep going for a bunch of closeups as well as a shot of the poop emoji shoes they're also selling.






Thanks to Hairless, who's never worn a dress shirt in his life. Or any kind of shirt. Because he's a cat.

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