This is the photo (even less convincing closeup after the jump) allegedly taken by 66-year-old retired electrician John Rodriquez while fishing on the Hillsborough River near Tampa, Florida. He claims he saw Bigfoot (known by Florida natives as the Swamp Ape, Skunk Ape, or I'd Still Hit It) wading through the water as his boat passed. His lying-ass words exactly:
"I fish for gar in the river and I bring my camera to take pictures of the birds and what not. I heard a squishing sound, looked over and saw this thing walking through the water and crouch down in the duck weed. It did not look like a guy in a suit -- it was definitely an animal. I took this picture and got out of there as fast as I could."
"I've heard of Skunk Ape prints around Green Swamp [in Florida], but never anything like this," Rodriguez told HuffPost in an email. "My whole life, never seen anything like it."
Obviously, if you couldn't tell from the closeup after the jump, or the fact that Bigfoot sadly doesn't exist, somebody did a horrible job producing this hoax. Is John to blame? Maybe. Either he Photoshopped the image himself (admittedly an impressive job for a 66-year old), or somebody else planted the shitty gorilla-faced Bigfoot there and waited for somebody to come along and take a pic. Regardless, if you don't think there are at least 40 good ol' boys out in boats right now trying to find and have sex with this thing, you clearly underestimate Florida.
Keep going for a closeup of the twelfth worst fake Bigfoot I've ever seen (I've seen some REALLY f***ing awful ones).
Thanks to Larder, who has always dreamed of making out in front of the fire on a Bigfoot-skin rug.