Knife Thrower Hits Assistant Twice, Almost Stabs In Face

January 6, 2015

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This is a video from a Lithuanian talent show of some guy who claims his skill is knife throwing, although I suspect his real talent is killing assistants. When attempting to knife giant playing cards out of his assistant's hands, he manages to hit him with the knives both times (1:17 and 1:30). Then, when trying to slice a melon above his head, he nearly scalps the poor bastard. That's when the assistant calls it quits, and rightfully so. Apparently both his hands are bleeding by the end and there's a pool of blood gathering at his feet around 4:45. No word how many women Stabby McAimless has actually sawed in half trying to perform magic tricks, but my guess is enough to get comfortable having to change his name and spend some time out of the country after every performance.

Keep going for a video of the my God, you suck at that.

Thanks to SD, who's convinced there's no better way to learn how to throw knives than having to throw them at someone you love.

  • MustacheHam

    That's quite a close cut.

  • Curse Cursed

    Actually the assistant is his son.
    They call themselves a recreational club of the highest standards, but no other recreational club in Lithuania calls them that.
    They call em crazy club

  • Post_Nazi

    I'm pretty sure they are trying to wipe up some blood that's dripping onto the floor at the very end. I have a feeling that thrower is saying stuff to the assistant when he gets near to him...perhaps "You're family may yet live, keep smiling."?

  • Urszula Koczyńska

    Disaster... I feel sorry for the guy! Did you see by the way that video from Russia? Guy was supposed to shot an arrow through an apple on someone's head... And he shot it through his head. parkinarodowe.net.pl

  • vadersapp

    Even if you had felt relatively sure this guy must know what he's doing when taking the job. ("Well, he's not going to throw knives at someone unless he knows he won't hit them, right?") Why the fuck would you not nope the fuck out of the way after he botched FOUR of the first six throws!? It's not about the job, it's about your life, dude!

    "Hey, he just needed to warm up. Let's just move on to the next part of the show... OUCH! He nicked my finger a bit. Heh, well that wasn't so bad, I'm not bleeding. Carry on!

    Okay, dude, you're really getting close to my other finger now. That really almost hit me....no, no, I'll keep going. Bring on the fire knives!

    See? That went well, I'm feeling much better about all of this. What's next, watermelon? Sweet! I get to eat that after the show! Pre-sliced!

    JESUS CHRIST! Now I'm gonna have to wash my underwear AND cut up the watermelon myself. This almost wasn't worth the fifty bucks."

    Seriously though, Why did no one, the thrower, the victim.... I mean assistant, the judges, the producers, etc. end that shit after bottle caps over there fucked up the first few throws? You're just gonna let a dude get killed on stage, huh?

  • Ryan Ong

    Because he's...being professional I guess?

  • vadersapp

    If only the knife thrower had been professional...

  • Suicide_Note

    Because ratings.

  • Will

    The faces his assistant makes... I actually feel sorry for him!

  • Tyguy

    Don't feel sorry for people who make stupid decisions.You know....natural selection, and all.

  • edo

    You need to learn a lot more about natural selection, Go to school once again please, becuase you are talking bullshit.

  • URDUNSON

    how desperate does one have to be to take on a job like this???

  • Matthew Anderson

    Somebody please please pleeeeeeease spam reply a "Make $X/week" link here!

  • Jenness

    or high, I vote for having mainlined heroin because no way a sober person wouldn't run screaming

  • Frédéric Purenne

    I won't be complaining about the student jobs I've had anymore... O_o

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