Protect Ya Breasts: 'Bionic Bra' Automatically Tightens When Breast Movement Is Detected

December 17, 2014

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Seen here showing the Bionic Bra to a young Colonel Sanders, Professor Julie Steele and Dr. Sheridan Gho marvel at their over-the-shoulder-boulder-holding prototype. The bra uses sensors to detect breast movement, and actuators to tighten the bra for more support. That way your bra is only in boob-crushing sports bra mode when it needs to be. Me? I just put Band-Aids over my nipples and walk around topless.

Professor Julie Steele, Director of Breast Research Australia (BRA) based at UOW, has been working with Professor Wallace on the bra since its inception. She has also been investigating the movement of women's breast during physical activity for more than 15 years. She said without the right breast support, long-term damage can be done, including numbness in the fingers caused by compression of nerves on the shoulders, as well as neck and back pain.


"Unfortunately, the most supportive sports bras tend to be the most uncomfortable to wear. Making matters worse, BRA research has found that 85 per cent of women are wearing bras that do not fit or support their breasts correctly."

Hey ladies -- make sure you're wearing a bra that fits and supports your breasts correctly. That's important. Every breast is a treasure. "Yaaar! Then that makes me a pirate!" No, sir, that makes you a pervert. Now please sit down and stop air-honking all the imaginary titties, you're making everyone uncomfortable, including me, and this is only the third time I've been uncomfortable in my life.

Thanks to Masco B, who understands the importance of a supportive bra.

  • Ed

    "She has also been investigating the movement of women's breast during physical activity for more than 15 years."

    How do I get that job?

  • Jenness

    This is just another sex toy in disguise. I bet it does more than "separate and stabilize" *wink wink*

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    She has also been investigating the movement of women's breast during physical activity for more than 15 years. That's a lot of time, but I bet some men did it for their entire lives but were slapped when they told the women that their tits need a better support... Maybe it was that eyebrow twitch fault.

  • Bling Nye

    I hope they call it 'The Tit Calmer'...

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