That Realistically Proportioned Barbie Doll Now Available With Acne, Rash, Cellulite, Stretch Mark Stickers

November 21, 2014

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Remember the Lammily Doll, the alternative to Barbie that was made with the actual proportions of the average 19-year old girl? Well now she's back with a $6 STICKER EXPANSION PACK including freckles, stitches, moles, acne, stretch marks, cellulite, bruises and scars to make her even more realistic. She's going to be so realistic she might even come to life at night and whisper things in your ear. Things like, "You gave me acne, stretch marks, cellulite AND a rash -- really?! I thought we were friends." We are, I'm just the prettier one.

Keep going for shots of some of the other options, as well as a video of the doll being Photoshopped into Barbie-like proportions.

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Thanks to Melissa, who agrees the worst dolls are those ones whose eyes are supposed to close when they're laying down but always wind up staying half-open to creep you the f*** out.

  • Carissa Lynn van Raak

    This doll probably would have ended up being thrown out my bedroom window just like all of the other dolls that freaked me out as a child.

  • Audrey

    This doll does seems like it was a meant to be a good idea but its just wrong especially after they said "we are [friends] i'm just the prettier one." This doll is promoting girls to put other girls down instead of inspiring self confidence.

  • Dani

    but is it anatomically correct? :)

  • Xockszky

    Show little girls both versions of Barbie and see which one they prefer. Most of the time, they'll go for the pretty one.

  • adfasdfadfs

    whats with treebark barbie?

  • Guest

    **EBT card, suspended license, and babydaddy sold separately.

  • Average is... well Average.
    Average isn't beautiful by definition.

    Maybe I'm getting this wrong.

  • Jan Bergström

    Is this a double sarcasm to feminism?

  • Guest

    It's hard to tell. They are a parody of themselves.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    If we're going to go all out and turn her into trailer trash, then what she really needs are some blood-shot eye stickers, some shadow to put under her eyes (the kind of shadows that give one a sunken eye appearance and really highlights those cheek bones) and some nasty peroxide-dyed hair (that piss yellow blonde).

    Meth-head barbie. That's what the world needs.

    Girls need more types of dolls to play with. That's the problem. Boys got GI Joe, He-Man, TMNT, Ghostbusters, Silverhawks, Thundercats (hey, wanna guess what era I grew up in?), Brave Starr, and the like. Girls got Barbie. That's kind of a shitty deal.

  • messymediauk

    I've always found that girls toys, specifically dolls, outnumber those available for boys by a loooooong shot! Go to any Toys 'R' Us and you'll see that 3/4 of the aisles are full of pink plastic crap with a much smaller area devoted to boys 'dolls'.

  • dunch

    1/10 would not bang

  • Shh Private

    Realistic for a nineteen year-old to have stretch marks from being pregnant - true.

    Role models for young girls should have been pregnant at 18 or younger - false.

  • GeneralDisorder

    The "stitches" sticker looks a lot like the old c-section scars...

  • Effie The Hedgehog

    I have stretch marks. I'm 21. I've not been pregnant. Most women have them, as puberty makes you go through rapid weight changes. I have never been overweight (closer to underweight) and I still have them.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Do you have a cesarean scar? Because that's what the stitch sticker looks like. A really poorly done c-section.

  • Jenness

    We just need to go back to the days of terrifying button eye dolls and the porcelain ones that come alive and steal your soul whilst you sleep.

  • kevin

    -Tell kids it's what's inside that counts, not what you look like on the outside.
    -Whole campaign is focused on changing what dolls look like on the outside.

    Maybe I'm just cynical, but this is the same as the Dove 'true beauty' campaigns for me: yeah your message is about self acceptance, but at the end of the day we need to buy your stuff to feel that?

  • James Mcelroy

    What's next, male action figures with beer guts, and rounded shoulders and jowls? Way to inspire.

  • adfasdfadfs

    now i kinda want one

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