Nuke The City, Do It Now: 4-Acre Spiderweb In Baltimore

November 3, 2014


This is part of the 4-acres of spiderweb built by orb-weavers in a Baltimore Wastewater Treatment Plant. Experts CONSERVATIVELY estimate there were over 107-million spiders living in the webs, with a population density as high as 35,176 spiders per square meter. For reference, that's 35,175 spiders per square meter more than necessary to justify burning the building to the ground. Per the entomologist and arachnologist experts sent to investigate the problem:

We were unprepared for the sheer scale of the spider population and the extraordinary masses of both three dimensional and sheet-like webbing that blanketed much of the facility's cavernous interior. Far greater in magnitude than any previously recorded aggregation of orb-weavers, the visual impact of the spectacle was was nothing less than astonishing.

In places where the plant workers had swept aside the webbing to access equipment, the silk lay piled on the floor in rope-like clumps as thick as a fire hose.

In some areas of the plant over 95% of space was filled with spider web. The webbing was so dense that it pulled 8-foot long fluorescent light fixtures out of place.

Wait -- the workers just worked around them?! I thought the building was abandoned. At what point do you think employees gave up on a spider-free work environment and just let them have their way? Because I would have quit. Quit and sued the city for unsafe working conditions. Not only am I dealing with wastewater, but I have to cope with a spider infestation? Nobody gets paid enough for that. Unless it's over $40k with benefits, in which case that sounds reasonable and I'd like my old job back.

One more shot after the jump of an 8-foot florescent light pulled out of place by the webs.


Thanks to NopeNopeNope, who asked me if there's anything about spiders in the Bible. No clue, but if there is they were probably on the devil's side.

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