That Looks Like A Wiener: Stretchy Stress Mushrooms

October 13, 2014

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These are the stress relief mushrooms being sold by FireBox. They come in Fly Agaric (pictured above), enoki, king trumpet and matsutake varieties, and cost $9.50 apiece. Most of them look like penises. They make the perfect de-stresser for the person who's always dreaming of stroking a giant rubber dildo at work but are afraid of what their coworkers might think. You know what I do to de-stress at work? Bang my head on my desk and scream, "JUST TAKE ME GOD -- DO IT NOW. STRIKE ME DOWN!" Then go try to shit so hard and fast I pass out and fall off the toilet.

Keep going for shots of all the other varieties.

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Thanks to Ryuuza, who agrees the best stress balls are the two you're born with. Just dangle them in a desk drawer then slam that sucker shut.

  • melapples

    why cant phil just stretch dans dick i mean he seems like a rough type of guy so

  • Emma-Chan Loves You <3

    WTF o.o Your comment scarred me

  • wow

    oh my god phil

  • Phil trash ofc

    CAME HERE CAUSE PHIL O-O HAHAHA

  • Emma-Chan Loves You <3

    xD Same. Someone linked me to it

  • David Gabel

    Would not be surprised if they were used for those other purposes. Some people..

  • Dukeman42

    Confession: I watched the video on the site.

    I sniggered.
    I laughed.
    I felt funny.
    I closed the tab.

    You should, too.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    If your penis look like that you better get that checked.

  • MustacheHam

    lol, I too have to agree.

  • You're right, GW, that Gif would be too much.

  • Yea, you'd have to NSFW that shit.

  • maria

    LMBO! WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN FUNNY! 80% of the reason I come to the site is to be entertained by your crazy antics. I love you.

  • ODwanKenObi

    Jeez GW, I hope your penis doesn't look like any of those.

  • thatguy

    "stress releivers"

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