That Looks Like A Wiener: Stretchy Stress Mushrooms

October 13, 2014


These are the stress relief mushrooms being sold by FireBox. They come in Fly Agaric (pictured above), enoki, king trumpet and matsutake varieties, and cost $9.50 apiece. Most of them look like penises. They make the perfect de-stresser for the person who's always dreaming of stroking a giant rubber dildo at work but are afraid of what their coworkers might think. You know what I do to de-stress at work? Bang my head on my desk and scream, "JUST TAKE ME GOD -- DO IT NOW. STRIKE ME DOWN!" Then go try to shit so hard and fast I pass out and fall off the toilet.

Keep going for shots of all the other varieties.





Thanks to Ryuuza, who agrees the best stress balls are the two you're born with. Just dangle them in a desk drawer then slam that sucker shut.

  • melapples

    why cant phil just stretch dans dick i mean he seems like a rough type of guy so

  • Emma-Chan Loves You <3

    WTF o.o Your comment scarred me

  • wow

    oh my god phil

  • Phil trash ofc


  • Emma-Chan Loves You <3

    xD Same. Someone linked me to it

  • David Gabel

    Would not be surprised if they were used for those other purposes. Some people..

  • Dukeman42

    Confession: I watched the video on the site.

    I sniggered.
    I laughed.
    I felt funny.
    I closed the tab.

    You should, too.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    If your penis look like that you better get that checked.

  • MustacheHam

    lol, I too have to agree.

  • You're right, GW, that Gif would be too much.

  • Yea, you'd have to NSFW that shit.

  • maria

    LMBO! WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN FUNNY! 80% of the reason I come to the site is to be entertained by your crazy antics. I love you.

  • ODwanKenObi

    Jeez GW, I hope your penis doesn't look like any of those.

  • thatguy

    "stress releivers"

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