Somebody Skipped Sex Ed: Woman Uses A Potato As Contraceptive, It Grows Inside Her

October 6, 2014

mr-potato-contraceptive.jpg

A 22-year old Colombian woman recently went to the clinic with abdominal pains and doctors found a potato growing in her vagina. Why was there a potato growing in her vagina? You know, because her mom told her to put it there to prevent pregnancy. No word if her mother had been using the same potato method when she was born.

"My mom told me that if I didn't want to get pregnant, I should put a potato up there, and I believed her." the unnamed patient was quoted as saying by local news website HSB Noticias.


After leaving the potato in place for around 2 weeks she began to experience intense pain in her lower abdomen. The potato had germinated, and grown roots inside the lady's private parts.

The offending root vegetable was removed without need for surgery, and there should be no lasting physical effects on the young woman.

The fact that a 22 year old women was no naïve as to believe that a potato was an appropriate and safe method of contraception shows a concerning lack of education for young people as to the options available for them when they become sexually active.

A potato, seriously? Everybody knows yams are the best form of birth control. I'm kidding, tubers are only like, 30% effective. You're better off with a loaded baked potato skin from TGI Fridays. If you want real effective birth control you've got to get your hands on some brussel sprouts. Then make your partner wear a condom.

Thanks to Rick and bethany, who agree the best form of birth control is living by yourself in the middle of the woods and only talking to woodland creatures.

  • David Gabel

    Should've left it in there. Stupid people shouldn't breed.

  • Matt

    Anyone with a bit of sense knows it's Aubergines, not potatoes that works!

  • n11

    Did they call in a doctor or a gardener?

  • Rix Trix

    Doctor for diagnosis, then referred to a gardener for procedure?

  • Fred

    You say misguided contraceptive method, I say failed attempt to make mash.

  • Eww!
    And now I've got images of some weird body-horror going through my head - where she becomes a half women, half potato monster. Thanks.

  • Clampity

    I guess that's one way to make tater tots.

  • gpenny95

    ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • gpenny95

    ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • Izy Betancourt

    Ewww

  • steve holt

    and that's how fetish porn genres are started in Japan. They're probably already working on a tentacle having sex with a baked potato right now.

  • David Gabel

    and mashed potato fillings

  • Johnny Bravo

    Ha ha I used the same method

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