Pope Francis Says Big Bang And Evolution Are Real

October 29, 2014

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Father Larry David is impressed!

Speaking to a recent audience at the Vatican, Pope Francis has announced he believes the Big Bang theory and evolution are real, and don't contradict the idea of creation. Heck yeah, I can't wait to bring this up in Sunday school!

"The beginning of the world is not the work of chaos that owes its origin to something else, but it derives directly from a supreme principle that creates out of love," Pope Francis said. "The Big Bang, that today is considered to be the origin of the world, does not contradict the creative intervention of God; on the contrary, it requires it. Evolution in nature is not in contrast with the notion of [divine] creation because evolution requires the creation of the beings that evolve."


The Pontiff said God created beings "and let them develop in accordance with the internal laws that he has given to each one." He said: "When we read in Genesis the account of creation [we are] in danger of imagining that God was a magician, complete with a magic wand that can do all things. But he is not."

Aha, so love was the catalyst for the Big Bang. Love is also an important ingredient when you're baking cookies for a friend's birthday. Things baked with love taste different than things baked without. Things baked with laxatives don't though, which is why you can expect to spend the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom if you ate any of the cookies I left in the break room.

Thanks to Marissa, Ed, icallblue, Justin and NOX, who are firm believers that God has a plan. Or at least he did before he abandoning it and just deciding to wing it.

  • KLanD

    Fantastic!.. but ah.. when was the last time a catholic actually listened to what the pope says.

  • stuffsticks

    Like 2 sides to a coin. Big bag has been described scientifically attempting to quantify the time scale. The creation story is a more abstract representation personifying the force and dividing it into "days"

  • Rusty Shackleford

    Im not a catholic but Pope Francis & Tenzin Gyatso are brilliant

  • G-man

    It must be true, he says it. Why the hell are we spending all our time into science research if we can just listen to him. I am just wondering what is his opinion why they killed the unicorns?

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    Man, I know some really enthusiastic Catholics who are going to be extremely confused by this. Also by all the church sanctioned anti evolution literature they kept offering me. Either way I'm liking this new guy more and more.

  • shashi

    Where's Jesus when you need him?

  • dougfunnay

    and the assassin strikes in
    ....3....2....
    ooooh damn spoke too soon.... now weve got another hitler youth at the helm

    really though this is just the church trying to survive in the modern world
    they dont care about whats right
    they care about power....and they have no power if they cant draw new members....
    and they cant draw new members if they keep pushing stone age bullshit
    regardless....its a pleasant change of pace

  • RareAwesomeman

    I feel like I went to the only middle school that actually taught evolution. For a long time I just thought everyone had common sense but I got hit by a reality check

  • shashi

    Consider: Religion is the father of philosophy and the grandfather of science. Without religion, science wouldn't exist in its current form. Science has to respect religion but doesn't have to obey it. Late adoption makes a lot of sense in this light. "What's that you say Science? What's an internet? Why don't you visit more often?"

  • dougfunnay

    science has to respect religion like you have to respect your batshit insane racist dementia infested grandfather..... you share genetic material therefor you must respectfully listen to the crazy ranting and raving that would get anyone else a bloody nose

  • shashi

    Your ranting and raving about ranting and raving is amusingly ironic. I assume you would just punch your grandpa in the face and tell him to shut up? My whole point is you dont have to listen, there are some organisations (just like there are some people) who have to be respected as predecessors and/or inspirations but that doesn't mean we are assigning them any sort of relevance in our vision of the future.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    I'm impressed that in this day and age the Pope is still relevant.

  • grimbldoo

    I thought the Big Bang Theory was created by a priest in the first place.

  • nominus

    Indeed it was. George Lamatroine.

  • shashi

    Its strange that a priest was unable to popularise or prove his concept. i wonder what held him back?

  • i like the pope- the pope smokes dope

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