Outerspace Gas Cloud Has Enough Alcohol To Keep Us Each Drunk On 300,000 Beers/Day For A Billion Years

October 20, 2014


In what may prove to be the most epic beer run of all time, scientists have determined that gas cloud G34.3 in the constellation Aquila has enough alcohol to provide 300,000 beers to every human on earth for a billion years. Obviously, I've already punched the cloud's coordinates into my spaceship's autopilot system and loaded the payload bay with junk food.

With a diameter 1,000 times that of our whole solar system, G34.3 has enough alcohol to give 300,000 pints of beer to every person on Earth every day for the next billion years.

American astronomer Ben M. Zuckerman discovered ethyl alcohol, the main kind of alcohol found in alcoholic beverages on earth, in interstellar gas for the first time in 1975.

G34.3′s massive alcohol content, however, remains unprecedented in a celestial body.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Probably not." I was thinking about how cool it would be if, instead of water, it rained ALCOHOL. But then I got to thinking about how all the grass and trees would probably die and maybe it's for the best that I have to buy it from the store. For the record though, I'd still pay good money for a shower with the cold water supply replaced with beer.

Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he plans on poisoning the entire gas cloud so anybody who tries to drink from it will die. WHY?!

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