Ouchie: Guy Has 17-Hour Erection, Gets 24 Shots, 2 Pints Of Blood Drained To Prevent Permanent Wiener Damage

October 7, 2014


Seen here pretending to peek out of a giant vagina for the second time in his life, 23-year old Justin Garrett of Harrogate, England, recently experienced a 17-hour boner after having sex one night (although I suspect he just masturbated in the shower and told the doctors he had sex because he was embarrassed even though there's nothing embarrassing about masturbating in the shower unless you're at the gym). He tried taking a cold bath and jogging to subdue his raging meat popsicle, but, like an ice cream sandwich in the freezer, it was destined to stay hard.

The man said he sought advice from his roommate after eight hours of unsuccessful erection-stopping attempts and Garnett was taken to a hospital, where doctors said the condition is known as priapism. The condition can permanently damage the penis if it is not immediately treated.

Garnett said doctors drained more than 2 pints of blood from his penis and injected it with medication 24 times to make the unwanted erection go away.

"Seeing them stab my penis with a needle was a horrible experience -- like something out of a horror film. The pain was a 10 out of 10..."

"It is completely normal now, apart from the fact that it looks like it's been through a war. It's all a bit black and blue," he said.

Just reread those last two quotes. Then take a minute to thank your own penis for never needing 24 injections and 2-pints of blood drained to go limp again. Two pints of blood -- do you even realize how much that is? That's like two pints of chocolate milk, but blood. His penis must have looked like an uninflated balloon after that. Did you just visualize that? Haha -- I OWN YOU.

Thanks to TBTMH, who agrees you should always call your doctor if your erection lasts longer than four hours and demand a virtual high-five.

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