Not Handsome: What King Tut Actually Looked Like

October 22, 2014

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In news that implies the artist responsible for his gold burial mask must have really taken some serious liberties, this a computer model created using 2,000 computer scans and genetic analysis of King Tutankhamun's mummy showing what the child king might have actually looked like. It's believed King Tut, who died around the age of 18, had buck teeth, a club foot, and "girlish hips". Plus some decent A-cup sized titties. Did I mention his parents were brother and sister? Because his parents were brother and sister. That might have something to do with it.

The scientists believe that this left him with physical impairments triggered by hormonal imbalances. And his family history could also have led to his premature death in his late teens.


Various myths suggest he was murdered or was involved in a chariot crash after fractures were found in his skull and other parts of his skeleton.

Now scientists believe he may have died of an inherited illness because only one of the breaks occurred before he died, while his club foot would have made chariot racing impossible.

See? Sometimes even kings have it rough. You should be thankful for what you've got, that's the real message here. Plus be careful what you wish for if you rub a magic lamp. Just because you wish to be a king doesn't mean the genie isn't going to make you a king with a boner growing out of your head and legs for arms. Never trust a genie -- I guess that's the REAL real message here.

Thanks to Case, who tried to tell me the ancient Egyptians were actually aliens, which I half believe.

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