Not Handsome: What King Tut Actually Looked Like

October 22, 2014


In news that implies the artist responsible for his gold burial mask must have really taken some serious liberties, this a computer model created using 2,000 computer scans and genetic analysis of King Tutankhamun's mummy showing what the child king might have actually looked like. It's believed King Tut, who died around the age of 18, had buck teeth, a club foot, and "girlish hips". Plus some decent A-cup sized titties. Did I mention his parents were brother and sister? Because his parents were brother and sister. That might have something to do with it.

The scientists believe that this left him with physical impairments triggered by hormonal imbalances. And his family history could also have led to his premature death in his late teens.

Various myths suggest he was murdered or was involved in a chariot crash after fractures were found in his skull and other parts of his skeleton.

Now scientists believe he may have died of an inherited illness because only one of the breaks occurred before he died, while his club foot would have made chariot racing impossible.

See? Sometimes even kings have it rough. You should be thankful for what you've got, that's the real message here. Plus be careful what you wish for if you rub a magic lamp. Just because you wish to be a king doesn't mean the genie isn't going to make you a king with a boner growing out of your head and legs for arms. Never trust a genie -- I guess that's the REAL real message here.

Thanks to Case, who tried to tell me the ancient Egyptians were actually aliens, which I half believe.

  • NoobMaster69 is a free agent

    he looks like the yellow bastard from Sin City

  • But Internet, when will you make me a dancing Tut a la the baby from Ally McBeal?

  • Pistol Pete

    How many servants do we think got their melons lopped off for accidentally calling him King Tits?

  • Pistol Pete

    10/10 Would bang

  • steve holt

    what a panty dropper!

  • Beanhimself

    id hit it

  • Apart from the club foot he reminds me of someone I dated.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    This is what a real pharaoh looks like! Stop with the unobtainable beauty standards imposed by media!


    now that's what you call child bearing hips

  • McGarnagle

    Looks like his might have had Klinefelter syndrome? It would explain the feminine hips and the boobs.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Not necessarily. Anything that would make his testicles non-functional would do this. So it could have been an accident, infection, torsion or congenital. This would cause osteoporosis too making his bones weaker.

  • asdfasdf

    i kinda want one of those diapers

  • egothebig

    so... he had breasts?

  • bluecheesedressing

    It seems counterintuitive, but I learned the opposite when I injured my Achilles. So it depends on the problem you have walking.
    -"There are two ways to use a cane. In order to most off-load the area, it is used in the same hand as the involved foot. For example, if your right ankle is hurting, putting the cane down beside it when you step with it results in almost all of the force going through the cane and very little through the foot. While using the cane in the same hand as the injured foot enables you to off-load the foot more, the downside is that you end up walking with a very asymmetric gait, and the shift in torque puts a lot of stress on your back.

    Much more commonly with the cane, and what most medical professionals encourage, is to use the cane in the opposite hand of the involved foot so that the cane and involved leg swing and strike the ground at the same time. If your right foot is hurting, put the cane in your left hand. As you step forward, put 50% of your weight on your right foot and 50% of your weight on your left hand and then step forward with the left foot. This method is preferred because it enables you to have a much more symmetrical gait (more like a normal walking pattern) and avoid walking with a marked limp."

  • Julie - Walker2014

    @olliewilliams:disqus until I saw the paycheck 4 $8640, I didn't believe friend woz actualie making money in their spare time at their computer.. there uncles cousin has done this for only 18 months and by now paid the loans on there place and bourt a great new Renault 5. go to,.. http://StartworkingwithGoogle2014MORE3adJ..

  • Ollie Williams

    You are the cancer of the Internet.

  • Ollie Williams

    Why would he be using a cane on the side of his good foot? Get your shit together, "scientists".

  • I'm with you Ollie, an real king would have a solid gold pimp cane. Those scientist are totally off!!!

  • CaptainGuntu

    A crutch would go on the same side (or both sides), but a cane would not. You use the cane to help support a shift in balance away from the injured leg.

  • Guest

    Because that's how you properly walk with a cane - it goes on the opposite side of the ailment.

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