Needs More Shotgun: Zombie Apocalypse Bicycle

October 27, 2014


This is the 'zombie proof bicycle' built by UK-based bike insurance company ETA for Halloween. It has everything you need to provide just enough false sense of security to confidently ride headlong into a horde of the undead and get torn limb from limb, including: an electric chainsaw, flame thrower, smoke grenade, splatter shield and hatchet. The electric chainsaw makes me laugh. What it SHOULD have is a marble dispenser on the back for when you're being chased. You ever seen a bunch of zombies trying to walk on marbles before? Comedy gold. Their arms and legs practically break themselves off.

Keep going for a closeup and video.


Thanks to Yannick, who pointed out bikes are going to be increasingly more important as the zombie apocalypse creates an oil shortage.

  • asdfasdf

    stupid bike

  • PuterMonkey

    All the crap on this bike, and all it takes is a bone in the spokes and this guy is what's for dinner.

  • Guest

    This only looks like it would slow you down. It's more like the "This 'Zombie Apocalypse
    Bicycle' makes me a giant beacon of meat for all the zombies in the area." Terrible name-I know-but it's certainly a more accurate description of this piece of shit waste of time and money. (butchered those last few words)

  • Daniel Anderson

    Hopefully that oversized potatoe gun doesn't have backblast...ballblast.

  • Fred

    I think, by virtue of the fact that zombies have no interest in bikes, that all bikes are in fact zombie proof. A zombie proof bike is like a lion proof banana...

  • When the dumb ass chainsaw does nothing but bring zombies within brain eating distance, use the conveniently located dick cannon to launch your dick across the room while you get away.

  • Tom Marsh

    definitely should be mounted sideways... turny-turny, choppy-choppy

  • WhiteEagle2

    The chainsaw would be useless. At best, it would stab through a zombie and then you would have a bike with a zombie stuck on the front.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    This can't get sillier can it?

  • GeneralDisorder

    It can and will.

    Ammunition companies made Zombiemax ammo.

    Joerg Sprave of Slingshot Channel always talks about his creations being used on zombies. He sometimes uses watermelons or ballistics gel as zombie stand-ins.

    Preppers all think the apocalypse is nigh but don't consider that they may not live past the cataclysm and may have to fight off zombies or living or mutants or whatever.

    Here's where the zombie panic irritates me the most.

    If it's a biological zombie virus/bacteria/fungus, we're all gonna catch it before we know we have it. Or... it'll be identified and cured before a notable outbreak happens.

    If it's alien technology we're all screwed because nobody will see that coming and people who do will be written off as wackos and those wackos will be the ones lingering and fighting aliens and getting picked off one by one.

    And finally if zombies are created by magic that means magic can just do whatever because magic. There's no logic, rhyme or reason. It's just "blah monsters" and we're all screwed. If magic can reanimate corpses from out of the ground then skeletons, mummies, mud demons, walking trees, etc all become our potential enemies and since they're propelled by magic the only way to stop the zombies, skeletons, mummies, etc would be to stop the magic... But it's fucking magic and fuck you.

  • asdfasdf

    "Preppers all think the apocalypse is nigh but don't consider that they
    may not live past the cataclysm and may have to fight off zombies or
    living or mutants or whatever."

    a good 2/3 of zombie prep works on a wide range of situations not just the ravening undead.

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